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Decide and Deliver.

February 1, 2010

How do you deliver (take care of others, be a valuable employee, contribute to the community and perform the no less than 100 tasks you have on your to do list today) if you haven’t decided?

“Decided what?” you ask.

Decide that it’s time to learn to back to yourself.
Decide to balance out your energy between what you’re giving and what you’re taking.
Decide that you’re going to fill your own resources instead of draining them dry.
It’s time to decide.

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” – Keri Russell

Today, decide…
… you will nourish YOU
… you will rejuvenate YOU
… what YOU need from others
… to keep YOU well
… to be happy
… to be aware of YOUR needs
… YOU will be a priority
… others needs will not be an emergency when YOUR needs are discarded

Women have this incredible ability to nurture others.  In fact, I am amazed by my female clients – they juggle work, family, friends, service, community, meetings, dishes, pets, laundry, cooking… the list could literally go on and on.  Yet, they feel empty, sad, discouraged, self-conscious, exhausted, depleted and even worthless.

There are a few common denominators among these women.

1.  They don’t take time to meditate and experience silence.  There is always “noise”.  It’s very difficult to communicate with heaven and get our energy source renewed if we don’t take time to experience quiet.  Sometimes it takes a great deal of effort to find time and space for silence.  Other times, it’s hard to get your mind to be still enough to enjoy silence.  It’s a practice that gets easier with time.  But there is no greater way to get grounded and refocused then to spend time meditating, praying and being in a space where you are not rushed and thinking of the next 10 things you need to multi-task.

2.  These women are often resentful for all they are doing for others.  They’ve lost all sense of boundaries.  Instead of saying of no, they say yes to everyone else and do not honor themselves.  The children are shuttled to activity after activity, the work requests are met, the responsibilities to others are achieved… but by the time all of this is done, there is nothing left for them.

Do these scenarios ring true for you?  As I often ask my clients, “You’re so busy taking care of everyone else.  But who is taking of you?”  That’s the same question I pose to you.  “Who is taking care of you?”

This is where the resentment comes from… women do such a great job nurturing and loving others but don’t take anything for themselves.  When was the last time you took a few hours to read a good book, take a hot bath just for fun or get a pedicure just because you wanted one?  You deserve it!  And it really is true… when you take a little bit for yourself, you have 10 times as much to give to others.  If you are draining your reserves, what will you do when the well runs dry?

So here’s my challenge…

Today (and EVERYDAY), write down 2 things you are going to do for YOU.  Make a commitment to yourself that no matter what, those two things will get accomplished.  If others in your life must sacrifice to help you accomplish your two things, fabulous!  What a tremendous example you will be setting for everyone in your life – men and women alike!

Here are some ideas to get you started:
-       take a nap

-       take 20 deep, slow breaths

-       go for a walk outside

-       write in a journal

-       eliminate sugar and caffeine

-       cook your favorite dinner and savor it

-       go to the mall by yourself

-       get a massage

-       listen to music

-       go to lunch with friends you haven’t seen for awhile

-       sleep in

-       put on your favorite outfit

-       avoid negative chatter and gossip at the office

-       get a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream

-       eat on the “good dishes”

-       light your favorite candles

-       work on a hobby

-       do a puzzle

-       ask someone to give you a foot rub

-       spend some time with your dog or cat

-       take a long, hot bath

-       make cookies just for you!

At first, it may be difficult to think of two things after the first couple of days.  That’s okay… stick with it.  It will get easier as you discover yourself again.

It will not be long before you see some amazing deliverables:
… A better YOU
… A more confident YOU
… A happier YOU
… A warm YOU
… A rejuvenated YOU
… A new, improved YOU

“…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” –Marianne Williamson

I add my sentiment to what Marianne Williamson said.  When you decide to take care of yourself and make yourself follow through, you will have so much more to deliver (and others will value you more, as well).

Until next week friends,

Tara

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