You’re Not That Fragile.
Today’s lesson hits pretty close to home. I had to learn this one the hard way.
Several years ago I was having a rough morning, feeling really sorry for myself. My husband (now ex-husband) and I had had a pretty significant fight and I was crushed. I will never forget the moment – I was in the closet hanging up clothes and was having a full fledged pity party. Out of nowhere I heard my dad’s voice plain as day say, “Tara, you’re NOT that fragile.” Whoa! It was shocking on many levels.
As a daughter, I would have expected my dad to feel sorry for me, take my side and tell me I didn’t deserve to be treated like that.
Instead, my dad told me to toughen up. Ouch!
I have to admit, I had an instant attitude adjustment. He was right. I’m not that fragile. I was letting someone’s behavior and attitude dictate how I felt and responded. I was acting like a victim. It wasn’t pretty.
I have thought about this moment a million times. I can’t even count how often I have told myself, “You’re not that fragile.” I’m not. I’m not going to break if someone says something unkind to me. I’m not going to fall apart if a person is hurtful to me. I’m not going to shatter if someone lies to me or betrays me. Let’s face it – I don’t LIKE any of these scenarios, but I am definitely going to survive… and survive WELL.
Let me ask you, how often do you let yourself be fragile? Are there times when you could ignore someone else’s negativity or rudeness without accepting their comments/actions as an attack on you? Instead of internalizing another person’s opinions, could you brush it off and realize it isn’t about you? Sure, it’s difficult. However, the more I live by these words, the less I’m negatively affected by others.
The other A-Ha this lesson taught me is the volume of negative messages we receive from others everyday. There are a lot of people walking around trying to give away “crap” because they feel so awful about themselves. Well, I don’t want someone else to dump on me, make me feel bad and ruin my day because they haven’t learned to feel good about themselves. Once I took my ego out of the equation, I realized how little of the negativity was actually about me and how much of it was about the other person and what he or she is going through in their own life.
Today’s challenge is to let go of the need to internalize what other people try to give to you. For some reason, we think we need to believe people when they say hurtful things to us. It can be crushing and break our spirits. It’s time to quit that. In other words, Stop Being Fragile.
As you go through your day today, pay attention to the messages others are sending you. Are their words and actions encouraging and helping you be more confident? Likewise, are the messages you send to others uplifting and supportive? We have to be more aware… aware of how others affect us and how we affect others. When we each master this lesson, we will be much less reactive to others and much more confident in ourselves.
Until next time friends,
Tara
