Sometimes In Tragedy We Find Our Life’s Purpose

There’s no getting around the fact that part of our physical experience in this lifetime is to have the opportunity to learn and grow.  Often we wonder why we have been abandoned or forgotten by heaven during times of difficulty.  When we think about something that is a tragedy, it’s challenging to understand how a loving God could allow that to happen.

Recently, a family was killed in my hometown by a drunk driver.  It was a terrible loss – devastating not only the family but the whole community.  I was saddened by some reactions, touched by others.  As people grieved the loss of their loved ones, a wide variety of emotions were shared – from anger and hate to forgiveness and sympathy.

I couldn’t help but think about how we each have a choice about how we move through tragedies.  Whether it’s as devastating as a sudden death or as daunting as a lost job or relationship, these challenges can test us to our core.  They can make us re-evaluate who we are, what our purpose is and how we can get the strength to move forward.  In the process we often find that there is more to us than we thought -  a stronger, more courageous self.  It is by taking a step into the temporary darkness that we find out how brave, powerful and wise we are.  We also learn how protected we truly are during our life journey.

This is often the case when I’m working with a woman who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship.  I am continually amazed how such a negative experience can transform the woman into a strong, bold person.  It is such an honor to be involved in the change – helping her to find her own purpose through the experience.  While it’s emotionally difficult to see a woman start at such a heart-broken, struggling state, it’s thrilling to see how she can triumph over the tragedy.  Healing is not a quick process, but it brings such great self-reflection and self-worth.

There are a couple of key steps that help us move through the tragedy and empower us on the other side:

1.  Accept that it will take time to heal.  We are often in such a rush to “feel better” that we don’t honor our need to FEEL.  If your life has taken a difficult turn, it’s okay to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to express your sadness, grief and heartbreak.

2.  Know that you will emerge stronger.  In the moment it may seem that you will never feel happy again.  Even if you can only have a tiny bit of hope, let that hope sustain you.  If you don’t feel strong now, continue to remind yourself that you are doing your best in the moment.  Each day you will grow stronger.  It may be difficult to see at first, but it’s most definitely happening.

3.  Create a support system.  You are not in your pain alone.  Lean on family, friends, community and support groups to help you through this time in your life.  Pushing people away may be what you want to do, but it’s not what you need to do.  Share your sadness and sorrow with those who love and care for you.  Being surrounded by those who will help carry your burden will make the process possible.  Not easy… but possible.

4.  Remember that you are powerful beyond your dreams.  You have the strength of heaven behind you – and that is not to be taken lightly.  You are cared for more than you can even begin to imagine!  While your heavenly helpers won’t remove your lessons, they will ensure that you are supported and loved during your trials.

5.  Watch for the miracles.  Even in tragedy, there are incredible miracles happening at every turn.  Pay attention to how the miracles unfold and how your purpose becomes more clear through your experiences.

If you feel like life is too much right now, just hang on.  It will get better!  I promise!

You can be sure that you are not alone.

You can be sure that ultimately the right outcome will happen.

You can be sure that you will find more courage and strength when you dig deeper within yourself.

Until next time friends,

Tara