Then the next day, you calm down and are less hormonal and don’t feel so desperate.  In fact, you are okay with the relationship, the job, the friend.  You may still want to fix some aspects of each situation, but you certainly don’t want to cut ties.  It would be nice if it all went away – you were forgiven as quickly as you recovered from the frustration and anger.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t usually work that way.  It’s in the moments when we feel overwhelmed, out of control and somewhat insane, that we say and do things that can create permanent wounds in our relationships.  The hurt can go deep.  And the pain can be immense.  If only we could take back our actions.  If only we could rewind our life DVR to 30 seconds before we made the drastic decisions, we could avoid the situation all together.

But real life can’t be rewound.  It’s lived in the very moment – second by second.  It is our challenge to live responsibly for each of those seconds.  As I’ve pondered the moments I wish I had stopped and thought through a decision, I realize there are some things I could have done to change the outcome.

1.  Take a few minutes to clear your mind.  Whether it’s in the middle of a heated argument or a moment of pure frustration, you need some time to step away and let the adrenaline settle down.  Adrenaline is critical to keeping us alive in a life or death situation.  However, it’s not as valuable when we need to be able to think rationally and make a longer term decision.  Letting your body chemistry mellow out a little and the hormones stabilize will do wonders for your ability to put rational thoughts together.

2.  Stay away from alcohol.  Alcohol and reasoning never go together.  Discussions and opinions should never be offered when one or both parties are under the influence of alcohol, even minor amounts.  It alters brainwaves, making a person think differently.  It can also cause amnesia for comments made.  Just do yourself a favor – don’t engage in an important conversation when either person has had any alcohol.

3.  Sleep on it.  It’s amazing how much more reasonable a person becomes when they’ve had some sleep.  Being tired is already a drain on the adrenals – adding an emotional decision on top of exhaustion is more than your sensibilities can handle.  Do yourself a favor – don’t make an important, permanent decision when you should really go to bed.  In most cases, that decision can wait a day or two until you’ve had a chance to get some rest and think clearly.

4.  Talk to someone who is level-headed and can help you make a good decision.  Sometimes this is a person who isn’t emotionally connected to you – who has no tie to the outcome other than to support you in weighing the factors to reach a solid conclusion.  When I was separated from my ex-husband, I chose a mentor who was skilled in Akashic Records to help me make decisions about my marriage.  She helped me move through the process with wisdom but wasn’t concerned with what the final result was.  She wanted to empower me to make the best decision for me, regardless of what that decision was.  Even though my family and friends were very supportive, it was difficult for me to make the decision I wanted when I was relying on others who were involved in my life day to day.  They wanted nothing but the best for me.  However, it’s sometimes challenging to make a personal decision when others are weighing in.  Having the outside help allowed me to be less emotional and angry in my decision – to make a logical, clear decision.

5.  Take as much time as you need to listen.  Sometimes you KNOW.  You just know.  You don’t need a lot of time to ponder and consider – your gut tells you what to do.  If you know without a doubt what to do, do it.  However, if you are not certain how to proceed, give yourself a little time and space to pray and listen.  The answers are always there.  Sometimes you don’t want to hear them.  Sometimes you don’t trust that you got an answer.  But when you are honest with yourself, you know what to do.  When you get the answer, trust your intuition.  Some of the most painful experiences I’ve ever been through have been a direct result of not listening.  I got an answer but did something else.  And the result was excruciating.  I learned!  I listen now.  If I don’t know what to do right away, I take whatever time I need.  But I always listen – and the answer is always there.

Life can be very challenging.  We live in a very fast-paced, hurried society.  Decisions can be rushed.  We all owe it to ourselves to take a breath, step back and make the decision that’s best for each of us.  As my mother always said, “It always works out.”  Yes, mom, it does!

Until next time friends,

Tara

While I am a planner by nature – To Do lists, goals, budgets, plans… but I don’t necessarily take just a short break to INTEND.  Intend my blessings, intend my desires, and intend my joy.  It’s in the practice of intending that we open our heart to receive.  That’s when the real miracles can come into our life.

Just last week I was speaking to a friend who said he is able to manifest things more easily recently.  I asked what the biggest change was – the one thing that that made manifesting more successful.  He responded that he was becoming more focused and clear in asking for Divine intervention.  I love this concept!  In just two minutes a day, we can create a partnership with the huge throng of Heavenly Helpers who are eagerly waiting to assist in creating our future… creating our tomorrow.

Here are some questions to help you get started:

1.  What will bring me more happiness and joy tomorrow?

2.  How can I have more success tomorrow?

3.  What will be fun tomorrow?

4.  How can I feel better about myself tomorrow?

5.  What can I do to be more at peace and content tomorrow?

6.  What is the best part of being ME?  How can I grow that to be even more fabulous tomorrow?

7.  How can I bring more joy and love to others tomorrow?

8.  What are the two more important things I can do tomorrow?

9.  How can I spoil myself tomorrow?

10.  What is my vision for myself tomorrow?

Please don’t try to answer all of these questions… they are meant to inspire you and help start your practice of Intending Your Tomorrow.  This can be a fun, exciting process of co-creation with God.  I suggest you journal your progress.  You may miss the little miracles (even big miracles) if you don’t write them down.  You’ll see success the longer you practice and record what is happening, the more often your intentions become reality.

Until next time friends,

Tara

Akashic Records are our soul’s transcript of everything that has happened to us and the lessons we are here to learn.  Our records show our soul in a much deeper and loving light than we often see ourselves.  It is a powerful and enriching opportunity to understand why the challenges, obstacles, successes, failures, people, and experiences are in our lives.  Akashic Records also give a greater understanding of why we’re here and what we’re meant to learn in this lifetime.

Every time I read a record, I learn so about the perfection of trials.  I also understand more about fears and how we delay our own joy.  In this instance, a wonderful client of mine was holding herself back from having a prosperous and comfortable life.  On the surface, it looks like she is struggling for money.  Within her records, it is so much more than that.

Her soul records revealed that many of the “lack” issues in her life had nothing to do with lack of funds.  She was living in a state of scarcity.  She wanted to know if and when she was going to get a windfall of cash.  This is a pretty common question, especially for people who are strained financially and don’t see an immediate way out.  They want to know when relief is coming.

One thing I find fascinating about our soul lessons is the depth and perfection of our individual experiences.  On the surface, it may feel like a lack of money problem.  Within the records, every situation is completely different – the money is just a “mask” for the real issue.  Ten people may ask about money and there will be ten different lessons, each powerful and customized for the person.

Knowing better than to ask “When is she going to get a lot of money?” I asked “What is her connection to money?”  I wanted to know what role money was meant to play in her life.  The answer was incredible – full of love and support for this amazing woman.

“She is here to learn to trust herself.  To depend on herself, no matter what happens.  To know she is fully capable of taking care of herself under ANY circumstance.  She is also here to learn that she can have anything she wants but it cannot be to relieve her of her lesson.  She cannot get a lot of money so she doesn’t have to worry about if she will be able to provide for herself financially.  Until she knows she is strong and can take care of herself, she cannot have MORE to distract her.  That will take away her lesson.  In many ways, she is living in survival mode – not allowing herself any of the joy and freedom of living for fun.”

I asked further, “So if she were asking for money for FUN, she could have it?”  The answer was amazing!

“If she truly wants money for fun (travel, experiences, etc), sure she can have it.  However, if she is trying to “fool” herself or avoid the lesson (i.e. telling herself she wants the money for fun but at the core still fearing for survival), there cannot be financial abundance.  The lesson is far more valuable to her soul than any amount of cash in this lifetime.”

She thought she didn’t deserve to have more money and felt like other people could take better care of her than she could take of herself.  Ironically, that was precisely why she was struggling.  In fact, this lesson was showing up in other areas of her life beyond her financial problems.  In many ways she is living sparsely.  She holds herself back from making friends, doing things she enjoys, eating good food, going places she loves,  spending time with others.

So, the answer to her question of when she will have more money is – when she learns to trust herself.  When she knows no matter what comes, she will be perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

I love that her records shared this wonderful insight to help her understand herself more.  Her records also gave clarity on how she can rely on herself more, strengthening her belief in herself.

As with many readings, I find myself asking how I am misunderstanding the obstacles in my life. I pose the same questions to you:

How are your trials and frustrations really just a perfect lesson for you?  How can you use the lessons to learn more about yourself?

To find out more about an Akashic Reading with Tara, please click here.

Until next time friends,

Tara

The quote from Ms. Sandberg  that struck me the most is, “I think a world that was run where half of  our countries, and half of our companies were run by women would be a better world.” I agree, because what we as women bring to the workplace is amazing and should not be underestimated, even by ourselves. She says, “No one gets to the corner office by sitting on the side… And no one gets the promotion if they don’t think they deserve their success.” We need to believe in our talents and accomplishments to make them a reality.

What in Ms. Sandberg’s talk stuck out to you? What advice would you add to hers for women to have career success? I look forward to your tips.

Enjoy,

Jennafer

Several years ago I had dinner with a woman who had left her husband four years earlier.  They had been married for over seven years – a very long and difficult seven years.  Even though many years had passed since she had even spoken to him, she continued to harbor tremendous anger and hatred for how he had ruined her life.  In fact, she recalled many incidences in great detail – and some of the stories were ten years old!  She remembered what she was wearing, each movement each person made, every word spoken.  After all that time, she was still very stuck in her experiences.

I have thought about this conversation many times.  It’s a perfect example of a person who has not released the experience but rather re-lives the events over and over and over again.  Each time the emotions are just as raw – she continues to be angry, frustrated, resentful and hurt from events that should be over and done with.  With each recollection of the story, she invests her personal power to keep the pain alive.  She is investing a substantial amount of energy into these old, horrible experiences.

How would her life be different if she could have learned the critical lessons that the marriage provided and released the negative emotions she experienced?   There were some tremendous lessons for her:  how she contributed to the marital problems, what NOT to look for in her second spouse, how she could have reacted differently, how she could have supported her husband through his own personal  issues, how her husband’s actions triggered her anger and frustration, and so on.  Instead, she choose to stay frozen in the drama of the marriage and keep her anger alive.

Needless to say, she has no interest in another relationship or opening her heart again.  How could she?  She is still very much involved with her first marriage.  The physical marriage is long over, but her emotional involvement is still very real.

How does this relate to you?  I’m glad you asked!

While it may not be in a failed marriage, we each have our ways of being stuck in past experiences.  In fact, I bet if you start to think about it, it won’t be long before you have many negative memories to choose from.  We exert a great amount of energy staying wrapped up in experiences.

Yes, this is the time when you should pull your journal or notebook out and start listing the negative experiences.

Be honest with yourself.  Are there memories you continue to hang on to because you either don’t want to acknowledge your contribution to the situation or you subconsciously want to continue being a victim?  You may not be like the women in the example and relive the stories on a regular basis.  In fact, they may be tucked away where you don’t think about them often.  But when they show up, you know!  You feel it in your solar plexus.

What happens if you continue to hang on to negative emotions?  It’s no big deal.  You’ll just end up with ulcers, liver disease, heart and lung issues, maybe even some Alzheimer’s.  Oh, and don’t forget, the years of sorrow, depression, anger, fear, lonliness, sadness, heartache, discouragement…  you get the idea. It’s time to deal with them!

We are here to learn lessons.  We are here to gather knowledge, experience emotions and grow.  If we get stuck in a past memory, our progression is stunted.  We end up reliving one (or a few) events over and over and never move on.  That’s not the purpose of life.  We are meant to continually progress.

Let’s take this one step further.  Is it possible to get stuck in a “positive experience”?  For instance, do you know someone who was a legend in their own mind… 5, 10 maybe 15 years ago.  They live in the memory of the good old days?  Yes…  that can be an obstacle to growth, too.  If you find yourself doing that, those memories are holding you back just as much as if the experiences had been negative.  You’re still stuck in the past.

I’m certainly not saying to throw out all the memories… let’s be reasonable.  Memories are part of what defines who we are.  They connect us to people and are a part of our belief system.  It’s great to have memories of people we love, places we’ve been and things we’ve done.  But they shouldn’t keep us stuck in the past or hold us back from reaching our best.

Today’s Challenge:  What experiences are energetically holding you back?  What are the lessons you’re not getting?

Sometimes it’s easier to give others advice than it is to coach yourself.  So act as if  someone you love had gone through “your” experience and asked for your input (as if you were a neutral observer).  What lessons did the events hold for the person?  What could the person learn from everything that had transpired?  How was this experience perfect for your growth and development?  Guess what… you’ve got the answers right there before you.

I think we spend far too much time reliving the past, feeling guilty and inadequate and trying to convince ourselves that we have no regrets.  Let’s get real!  We don’t need to relive sad events forever.  We don’t have to remain stuck in old memories that hold us back from grasping our greatness.  And guilt… oh, boy!  That’s a big topic on its own!  If we are going to transform, we have to deal with guilt!  But that’s for another day.

One last thought.  I believe we are children of a very loving and involved God.  You are no accident!  True, this journey was never meant to be easy and uneventful… that would defeat the purpose.  But,  I don’t believe for one second that we are meant to lug around emotional pain and sadness for the rest of our lives.  When we accept that we are on earth to learn, it’s okay to make mistakes (and forgive – forgive ourseves and forgive others for their mistakes), we can get the lesson and release the experience.  The negatives no longer serve us and we don’t have carry them around any more.  They taught us what we needed to learn and now we can let go and move on.

Soon, our whole perspective of “mistake” will shift.  Instead of a mistake, let’s call it an experiment.  Some experiments work great.  Others don’t.  No problem… we figure out why the experiment didn’t work and make the necessary changes for next time.  We don’t stress about it or wallow in it.  We learn from it and move on.

Until next time friends,

Tara

Making time to quiet your mind is one of the best ways to connect with – and learn to listen to – your intuition. And the more practice you get connecting to your intuition the easier it is to perceive—and the easier it is to have access to answers and guidance that will help you navigate through life.

But our lives get busy, and there’s sometimes a shortage of time and quiet. Luckily it doesn’t have to take a lot of time to get in touch with your intuition. In just 10 minutes, you can quiet your mind and be able to access your intuition to gain insights on a regular basis. All you need is

*a private place to sit comfortably,

*a pen and paper, and

*something to keep time with.

Here’s how:

*Take 5 minutes to meditate. Spend 5 minutes in a private, quiet spot meditating. Whether your preferred meditation method is focusing on your breathing, saying a mantra, following a guided meditation, or a combination thereof, meditate according to it for five minutes to clear your mind and get centered in your body.

*Take 5 minutes to listen and write. Now that your mind is calm and clear, ask yourself a question for which you’ve wanted guidance. It can be what direction to take in your career, what kind of things would improve a relationship, how to help your family, anything. Then take 5 minutes to write whatever comes to you. Don’t question or judge it. Just write. At the end of your writing time, look over what your wrote and see what resonates with you to take away as an answer.

This exercise is easy to do and helps you connect to your intuition for needed answers—and in only 10 minutes! Try it this week to help you on your journey, and leave a comment to let me know how it goes.

love & light,

Jennafer

Today is a special day!

Today is the day you can choose to reconnect with someone special in your life.

It happens to all of us – we have people we love or have fond memories of but we lose track of them.  Life gets too busy or we enter a different phase in our life and our connection to someone special to us gets lost.  Who is someone in your life that you miss?  Think of a special friend or family member that you would love to catch up with.

This is a project I have been working on personally for the past several months and it is so much fun to talk to someone that I haven’t spoken to for 10 years or more.  It’s special to recall memories, laugh over funny experiences and rebuild a special bond.  It has been surprising to see how different every person’s path is over time and how interesting their life story is.

You may feel a little nervous at first.  That’s okay – it’s not unusual.  You’ll find it’s fun and entertaining.  In fact, you may want to call a few more people on your list!

Today’s challenge is to think about 3 or 4 people you would love to associate with again.  Now go to work to find them.  You may have to do a little research to get their phone number or email address, but it’s worth it!

If you are worried that the conversation may be awkward, write down a few thoughts before getting on the phone.  Write down some questions you would like to ask and some memories you can talk about.  Add things about yourself – what you’ve been doing since you last spoke, where you’ve been and a few funny memories.  Write down a few notes about common friends and latest news about them.  That way, when you find a lull in the conversation, you’ll have a new topic to talk about.

We are not meant to feel lonely, disconnected and in our own bubble.  We have connections all around us – sometimes we just need to reach out to re-activate those relationships.  It will be a very growing (and hopefully FUN) experience.  Please let me know how it goes!

Until next time friends,

Tara

While there’s many things that contribute to that cloudy thinking confusion, much of the time it’s the noise that other people’s expectations or opinions create. That noise can distract us from following our hearts, but there’s a way to cut through that and get to the answer you need that’s right there waiting.

Here’s two tips to get there.

1. Get quiet. Most of the time we know pretty instantly the answer to a question we have or the solution to a dilemma we face because we feel it in our hearts. The problem is that the noise drowns out that own inner voice and we feel confused or stuck. To silence the noise of other people’s expectations, first

*take three deep breaths and

*turn off anything that can distract you (phone, TV, etc.).

Getting quiet helps us hear the voice inside more clearly and give it the attention it deserves.

2. Listen to your heart. Commit to hearing what your heart says openly and clearly without judgment. Recognize that fears or doubts may come up, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But those fears & doubts don’t automatically negate what your heart says. Whatever comes, listen openly and give it credit. Honestly hearing and acknowledging it has a way of helping the cloudy thinking go away and clarity come.

As Carl Jung said: “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”

The challenge today: Awaken to what your heart truly wants and says. It takes courage to listen to your heart, but it’s incredibly worth it.

love & light,

Jennafer

Maybe you have recently, or are now, experiencing potentially stressful situations:

Death in the family

Work

Divorce

Financial problems

Health issues

Hectic schedules

Having a baby

Winning the lottery

Starting a new job

Going on vacation

There are some situations we cannot avoid – stressful, worrisome events that can cause you emotional anxiety.  That is normal.  No one is completely exempt from stress.  However, learning to manage your reaction is critical.  Allowing the stress to continue long-term can negatively affect your emotions, relationships, physical health, spiritual connections and moods.

A 1996 survey in Prevention magazine found that 75% of the population feels like they have “great stress” at least one day a week.  It has also been estimated that 75-90% of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related health problems.

We all have to live with stress, but if not reined in, it can profoundly affect both mind and body.  Everyone experiences stress at different levels.   Fortunately, you can gain control of your life, slow things down, and curb stress.

Stress isn’t all bad. If we are in a life-threatening situation, stress creates a physical response that demand quick reactions in response to threats.  However, we expect our body to come to our aid day after day, many times during the day… to handle stress that is not life-threatening.  Our body’s responses are triggered on a regular basis, even when our lives are not in danger.  Chronic stress causes hormones to be released and can damage our body.

Here are some immediate things you can do to counteract stress in your life:

1.  Breathe – just take a moment to relax and take in some long breaths.

2.  Analyze your immediate situation – Is it really as bad as you’re making it out to be?  How can you react differently?  — This is when the skills from previous days come in to play.  We’ve talked about this… you can do it!

3.  Stop worrying and start solving – Worry takes all of your problem solving energy and wastes it!  Instead of worrying, focus on what you can do to make the problem better.

4.  Develop an attitude of gratitude – Sometimes this shift in thought will shift our entire mood.  It’s so easy to get wrapped up in what you don’t have, what someone else has done to you or how bad things are.  But stopping yourself and making yourself think of something positive changes not only your emotional state but also your physical state.

5.  Eat well – Your body needs sound nutrition all the time, but even more so when you are stressed.  We will discuss nutrition more soon, but for the time being, eat foods that have fuel.  Brownies, candy, soda, etc. do not have fuel – they have empty calories.  You can tell how you feel when you eat empty calories:  tired, anxious, depressed, weak, depleted, etc.  That’s not what you need when you’re stressed.  Eat foods that give you energy, help you feel better, and give you strength.

6.  Have some fun – Laugh, exert yourself physically, have sex if it’s appropriate… do something to get your mind off the worry and focus on something enjoyable.

7.  Serve others – There is no greater antidote for focusing on worry than focusing on helping others.  It’s a miraculous thing.  As you serve and love others, your personal cares take on a different perspective.  Your problems can diminish in complexity when your awareness of what others are working through increases.  You may actually gain a greater gratitude for what you are encountering.  It will help you see the meaning in your struggles when you can see how another person is working through their challenges.

8.  Try relaxation.  I love to hear clients’ stories about how much better they feel after using hypnosis to relieve stress.  It is a wonderful way to breathe, focus your thoughts and change your subconscious habits to be more calm.  Whether you work with a hypnotist or use a hypnosis download, you can enjoy the effects immediately.

Today’s assignment:  write down the top 10 things that are stressing you.  If you can’t think of 10, that’s great!  Write what you can.  If you have more than 10, write down the 10 biggest items.

Look at your list – determine which things you can control and which you can’t.  If you can’t control something, commit to stop worrying about it.  There’s nothing you can do and giving your emotional energy will drain you.  Control what you can – your response.

If you can do something about your stressor, figure out what needs to be done and go to work.  Stress is paralyzing.  Often the fear and anxiety are much worse than the actual problem.  If you need to call creditors, pick up the phone right now.   If you’re dreading a conversation with someone, schedule a time to talk and get it over with.  If you need to make a decision, decide and move on.  It won’t be easier later and the energy you exert in worrying could be going to something positive.

The best part… you do not have to live in a state of stress.  You have the choice.  You can take steps to eliminate the stress.  If elimination isn’t feasible, you can change your reaction.  You control your emotions.  When you realize how incredibly powerful you are, you won’t need to surrender to stress.  You can live a higher emotion!

Until next time friends,

Tara

artwork by Nicole Larue

Life is short. Enjoy it and make it the one you want.

Love & light,

Jennafer