The Power of Intention
Sometimes when people say, “It’s the thought that counts”, they’re trying to make you feel better—even console you. But the thought really is what counts when it comes to intentions, our inner resolve.
So much of what happens in our lives begins with our intentions. Our thoughts have great power to shape our lives. It can be easy to live our lives going through the motions of our routines, almost unconsciously. But being clear about our intentions is the first step towards making our lives what we want them to be.
There are 4 areas of life around which I encourage you to be clear about your intentions this week.
Actions & Activities. Think about what your intentions are for your actions and activities this week. What do you intend to get out of them? What do you intend to put into them? Whether you’re going to work, running errands, taking a trip, calling a friend, cleaning the house, giving a presentation in class, hanging out with friends, or volunteering at the local children’s hospital, your actions and activities matter. They say a lot about your character and priorities, so making sure they’re done with intention and purpose will enable you to put the most into—and get the most out of—them.
Attitudes and Aptitudes. Think about what your intentions are beyond what you do to who you want to be and what your gifts and abilities are. As yourself:
*What attitude do you intend to reflect as you go about your activities?
*What kind of person do you intend to be?
*What gifts do you intend to develop and share?
*What skills do you intend to acquire or hone?
Being clear about these things both guides your actions and activities and helps you live a more conscious, aware life, and that empowers you to grow and achieve your goals and potential.
It’s incredibly powerful to be clear about—and live your life by—your intentions. It can help your life feel purposeful and directed, and give even more meaning to your daily routine. When you’re consciously aware of how your actions, activities, attitudes and aptitudes reflect your intentions, you can feel the same satisfaction you do achieving a goal you set for yourself. It’s energizing and empowering. This week, I challenge you to be clear about your intentions. Leave a comment to let us know how it goes. Good luck!
Power of Intention painting by Deborah Mori
Listen to Yourself More
Listening to others more is very important to gaining understanding. But I also want to encourage you to listen more to yourself. This is a skill that’s sometimes harder to master than listening to others because self-doubt creeps in, often leading to second guessing ourselves. But I’ve found through experience—and I truly believe—that when we honestly listen to ourselves despite self-doubt, we’ll find not only answers we need, but inner wisdom, clarity, and courage.
Listen to your body. As the home of your mind and spirit, your body has a lot of wisdom to offer. Emotions manifest themselves and process through your body, so listening to your body can give you clarity about how you’re feel when you’re unsure. Pay attention to the ways your body responds to know when you’re:
*scared (For me, it’s my pulse or heart racing, muscles contracting, breathing becoming more rapid, etc.)
*stressed (I get tense muscles in my neck and shoulders, and my stomach churns, unsettled.)
*confused (I start to feel mentally far away and breathe more shallowly than normal.)
*and any other emotions. You get the idea.
I also want to encourage you to listen to your body’s limits. In general, Americans tend to “power through”, so I have a tendency to ignore my body and keep going even when I’m ill or tired and it’s clearly telling me that resting may be the best course of action. Our bodies have limits, and that’s ok. When we’re really listening to our bodies, we can find ourselves rested, nourished, and healthy instead of overtired, undernourished and ill. That sounds like something worth listening to.
Listen to your inner voice. You have a lot of wisdom inside of you, and listening to your inner voice is how you tap into it to solve dilemmas and know which choices to make. Whatever we call it—a gut feel, a feeling deep inside, a voice in your head, a lightbulb going off—that inner voice has a lot of answers to the things troubling or puzzling us.
What does your voice sound like or how does it manifest itself? Sometimes my inner voice is a sarcastic voice in my head (fitting for a person prone to sarcasm, I suppose) that knocks some sense into me or helps me ligthten up. Sometimes it’s a strong feeling from deep inside me that confirms or denies something immediately, often before I’ve even fully mentally processed it. However your inner voice speaks, try to listen to it more. I’ve found the more I do, the more I trust it, which means the less self-doubt creeps in and more wisdom is allowed to come out.
Today, try listening to yourself more. I’m certain you’ll find your body and inner voice have a lot to offer. Leave a comment to share your experiences or tips so we can learn from them.
Listen with More Empathy
Have you ever had the experience of pouring your heart out to someone, only to feel like they haven’t heard a word you’ve said? That happened to me, not too long ago, and it left me feeling discouraged. It also made me take stock of my own listening skills and pay better attention to whether or not I was truly listening when people talked.
Listening—not just passively but with true empathy—is not only an important skill but a gift. It helps the listener feel truly heard and helps you connect on a deeper level. But how do you listen with empathy, let alone demonstrate that you’re listening with empathy? Here are some tips, some of which we covered at a recent training at work:
*put yourself in the person’s place mentally to imagine how he or she feels
*make and maintain eye contact
*have open body language (hands at your side or in your lap, arms uncrossed, etc.)
Closed body language can denote disinterest, instead of empathetic listening.
*keep focus on the person speaking
*nod in agreement
*restate what you’ve heard
*briefly share an experience to show you know where someone is coming from. (Keeping it brief will continue to keep the focus on them and not you.)
Today, I challenge you to listen with more empathy. It’s a gift you’ll give to both the listener and yourself. We’d love to read your experiences, so please feel free to share your experience by leaving a comment here.
“Make a habit of dominating the listening and let the customers dominate the talking.” – Brian Tracy
Have you ever met a salesperson who spends his or her time trying to impress you with how much they know or how amazing they think they are? I have worked in sales for over 20 years and it makes me cringe when a sales professional tries to sell me something without listening.
It expands beyond sales. Have you ever tried to get help from customer service and before you can even start to explain your problem, you are cut off and disregarded?
What about at home? Do you find yourself multi-tasking and missing half (or more) of what your friends and family are telling you?
I believe that the biggest key to creating a successful relationship with customers, family and friends is to let them do most of the talking. By listening to their problems, suggestions or questions, you can create trust faster and develop a strong relationship easier than anything else you can do. Pay attention to others, re-state their problems and offer solutions that are specific to them.
Listening is a skill that can build confidence, trust and strengthen relationships. However, dominating a conversation or only partially paying attention can weaken relationships, weaken trust and put a wall between people.
Have you ever listened to Dr. Laura on the radio? Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with her, one fact remains… she is a poor listener. She rarely lets her caller finish their question and she answers whatever it is she “thinks” the person has called about. Quite often, she doesn’t even address the actual question or issue – she doesn’t listen long enough to get to that point. She has her own agenda and rarely customizes her advice to truly meet the needs of the caller.
How often do we do this in our everyday life. I hate to admit that for quite awhile I was a sentence finisher. Instead of letting the other person finish their thought or comment (especially if they were slow about it), I’d finish what they were saying. Often, I was wrong. They were making a different point than what I was hearing. It’s a rude habit that I still have to watch!
Listening is a skill. It’s something that takes effort, practice and consistency. Don’t you love to talk to a person who truly listens?! Isn’t it awesome to have a conversation with someone who is focused on you and paying attention to what you have to say? I don’t know if there is a greater gift you can give someone else than to listen intently to what they are really saying.
Today’s challenge is to pay attention to your listening habits. Watch how you pay attention to what someone is telling you. Do you tune your kids out part-way through the conversation? Do you cut off your spouse in the middle of their thought? Do you dominate the conversation with customers? All of these habits can be broken! You can become the amazing listener in the life of those around you!
Until next time, Friends,
Tara
Listen More
“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well.” ~Chinese proverb
Several years ago, I had a supervisor who was an amazing listener. She made and maintained eye contact, asked questions, and respectfully and attentively listened. I always felt truly heard when I walked away from a conversation with her, and that was not only very validating for me, it also inspired a great deal of loyalty from me. That supervisor exemplified the proverb above to me, as her listening was powerfully influential.
Unfortunately, sometimes listening well isn’t always as plentiful a resource at work as it should be. Most of our job descriptions specify giving input, participating in meetings, giving feedback, etc.—but not many job descriptions call for listening well. And sometimes we’re so busy trying to think of what we’ll say in reply that we don’t really hear what’s said.
Today, I challenge you to listen more. Whether you work in an office or a home, as a volunteer or a CEO, and whether you work with children, adults or animals, take time to listen to what they’re saying. Pay attention to the emotion in their words and body language, and listen to truly hear them and understand rather than to respond. Besides influence, if can give you:
*greater understanding of the person, situation, or circumstance;
*stronger relationships with higher levels of trust and interdependency; and
*higher productivity overall.
Whether you’re a supervisor listening to those who report to you or listening to another coworker, truly listening can be a powerful gift you give to others. Try it and let us know how it goes by leaving a comment.
Truly listening can be highly influential at work, whether or not you're the boss.
Working Miracles
It’s not often you think about miracles going hand in hand with work. But sometimes our work—whether it’s the kind we get paid for or the kind we volunteer for or devote our lives to—can change lives, and that’s miraculous. I want to share a few of my working miracles with you.
I was a preschool teacher for many years, and I was able to have a hand in guiding little children. I witnessed beautiful miracles in that job as children grew and learned around me.
I’ve been involved in rescuing small parrots through a local group for a couple of years now, and I’ve been able to witness many miracles as these little birds learn to trust and thrive after being in neglectful situations.
Nacho the cockatiel, one of the birds I've worked with through a local rescue group whose presence in my life has been pretty miraculous.
I was introduced to reiki about 5 years ago, and utilizing it has brought miraculous healing to myself and others. I think that’s pretty miraculous. (If you’re interested in learning more about reiki, I highly recommend Reiki Awakening.)
Currently, I’m an editor for a magazine, one that inspires people to creatively tell their stories. Creativity is very healing, and the experiences readers have recounted as they’ve connected to their families and their own lives even more through scrapbooking are pretty miraculous to me.
The work I’ve engaged in has brought about blessings and miracles. Maybe they aren’t huge ones, but they don’t have to be huge to be life-changing. Your work can do the same. Look for the miracles that occur through your work in your own life and the lives of others. Embrace them and perpetuate them. And if you feel comfortable, share them here with a comment so we can all experience them.
A Dose of Miracles
I’ve been thinking about miracles… specifically how miracles are performed by people in our lives. On Tuesday I wrote about a small, yet poignant miracle that happened because people I loved responded to the heavenly call.
Today I want to turn the tables - what can you do to be a miracle in someone else’s life? How can you hear the call to answer someone’s plea for help?
Here are a couple of suggestions to help you to be a miracle in someone’s life:
1. Ask for opportunities. God is always looking for a someone willing to help! The more you are willing to join forces with Heaven, the more chances will come your way.
2. Act on your intuition. If you get a hit that someone needs help, don’t squash the feeling. That’s the message you’ve been waiting for! If you get a gut feeling to call someone, make a visit or say a kind word, act on it.
3. Look for opportunities. When you see that cute little old lady walking out of the grocery store, offer to help her get her groceries in her car. The frazzled mother with four crying kids could use a friendly helping hand. The older man at the end of the street may need help getting his garbage cans out to the corner on trash day.
I really believe that participating in a miracle (whether you are the giver or receiver) is a true partnership with Heaven. It’s fulfilling one of the core reasons we are here – to help and support each other on our life journeys. You never know when your act of kindness may be a miracle in the life of the recipient.
Today’s challenge is to reach out (even get out of your comfort zone, if necessary) to others. Find ways to encourage and life others and take part in performing a daily dose of miracles.
Until next time, Friends,
Tara
Inspiring Quotes about Miracles
You know how I love inspiring quotes. What could be more inspiring than quotes about miracles? Here’s to the miracles in our lives—may we see and celebrate them! Enjoy!
Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and strengthening the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy. ~Marguerite De Valois
Seeing, hearing and feeling are miracles, and each part and tag of me is a miracle. ~Walt Whitman
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle. ~Marie Lloyd
You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle. ~Paulo Coelho
Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand. ~Sue Patton Thoele
To me every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle. ~Walter Chrysler
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. ~Louise L. Hay
True miracles are created by men when they use the courage and intelligence that God gave them. ~Unknown
I think miracles exist in part as gifts and in part as clues that there is something beyond the flat world we see. ~Peggy Noonan
Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible. ~Mao Tse-Tung
Out of difficulties grow miracles. ~Jean de la Bruyere
Received a Miracle Lately?
When was the last time you witnessed a miracle? I mean a REAL miracle. Something that happened that was unexpected and was exactly what you needed exactly when you needed it.
Let me tell you about one of those experiences I had just a few weeks ago. I had a really rough day. It was one of those days that I just kept telling myself I would laugh about later (by the way, I haven’t laughed about it… yet). When I went home that night, I was almost in tears. I was so hurt, sad, frustrated, angry, resentful, and scared. I wasn’t in control of my emotions and had let someone close to me affect me in many negative ways. I felt so alone. You have felt that way before, too, haven’t you.
As I was driving home that night, I prayed. Honestly, there was nothing else I could do. Everything that had happened was beyond my control and all I could do was get Heavenly support. I asked specifically that God would put someone in my life to reach out and be kind and supportive to me.
Let me add a disclaimer here to say that I have been blessed with many wonderful friends and family members that I could have called in my moment of need. But this particular moment, I needed Heaven to take over and take care of me.
I got home to see my two adorable little dogs. I was so glad they were there, wagging their tails and licking me happily when I walked in the door. Miracle… check!
It wasn’t twenty minutes later that a friend of mine called out of the blue. I hadn’t talked to him in months and we didn’t talk on a regular basis. In fact, prior to the conversation a few months ago, it had been years since we talked. But he was driving home from work that night and felt like he should call to say hi. Miracle… check check check!
The evening ended with a call from a co-worker who was headed home from dinner and got a feeling he should call to see how I was doing. I’ve stopped counting the miracles at this point and shed tears of joy and gratitude for the tremendous outpouring of love that God has just shown me.
We sometimes think that miracles are these huge, life-altering events that only happen to a very select group of people on the news. But there are miracles every day that go unnoticed. That night was a miracle for me. By most standards, it was a calm, somewhat uneventful night. By my standards, it was a direct answer to my request. I asked for Heavenly support and a miracle ensued. It is a night I will never forget.
For the last few years, I have become more much sensitive to Heavenly help in my life. I ask for it more frequently and recognize it more consistently. One thing I don’t think I’ll ever become accustomed to – how often miracles occur, at work and personally. I promise you that as you start to watch for miracles in your life, you’ll be amazed by how often they occur.
Please share your thoughts with me by posting a comment. I’d love to hear about a miracle you’ve witnessed or participated in.
Until Thursday Friends,
Tara
Expect a Miracle
Have you ever witnessed a miracle? I know… that word, “miracle”, carries a lot of weight. I mean, between scriptural miracles (like Jesus turning water into wine), sports miracles (like the “miracle on ice”), and heroic miracles (such as the “miracle on the Hudson”), there’s usually truly extraordinary things implied when you use that word.
But even though miracles are extraordinary, they don’t have to be big. Actually, they can come in all shapes and sizes. You don’t have to be on an Olympic team to experience them. They can happen every day. On his final night hosting “The Tonight Show”, Conan O’Brien said, “Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
What amazing things have you witnessed?
As you go about your day today, expect to find these amazing things, these miracles. They could be:
*a mind opening up
*a child’s laugh
*a heart or life changed for the better
*the perfect formation of a drop of water or a leaf
*growth experienced
*acts of courage
*progress made
*and so many more.
Whatever you do today, expect a miracle. Miracles abound, and we can see them every day.
Super Saturday: Whole Food Signatures
I love Super Saturday – it’s a chance to talk about fun health concepts that can help you reach wellness emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Today I want to share a cool concept my sister shared with me several years ago. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find the original author. Whole food signatures are a good guideline for supporting health concerns. It’s a fun, creative way to approach eating. Enjoy!
Whole Food Signatures
A stupendous insight of civilizations past has now been confirmed by today’s investigative, nutritional sciences. They have shown that what was once called “The Doctrine of Signatures” was astoundingly correct.
Referred to in the classical period of Rome as the “Law of Similarities” it is now called by scientists, “Teleological Nutritional Targeting.”
It now contends that every whole food has a pattern that resembles a body organ or physiological function and that this pattern acts as a signal or sign as to the benefit the food provides the eater.
For example:
 |
A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye.
The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye…and YES science now shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes. |
 |
A Tomato has four chambers and is red.
The heart is red and has four chambers. All of the research shows tomatoes |
 |
Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart.
Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research |
 |
A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebelums.
Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop over 3 dozen neuro- transmitters for brain function. |
 |
Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys. |
 |
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more look just like bones.
These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet the body pulls it from the bones, making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body. |
 |
Egg Plant, Avocados and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? …. it takes exactly 9 months to grow an Avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 phytolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them). |
 |
Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow.
Figs increase the motility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male sterility. |
 |
Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics. |
 |
Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries. |
 |
Grapefruits, Oranges, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts. |
 |
Onions look like body cells.
Today’s research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. |
 |
Bananas, Cucumber, Zucchini and more target the size and strength of the male sexual organ. It’s true! |
 |
Peanuts have a profound effect on the testicles and sexual libido.
Peanuts were banned as a food for males by the church during the middle ages. Most people don’t realize that arginine, the main component of Viagra, comes from |
Strategic Measurements
After reading the title, you may think this is all about weight loss with its reference to measurements. It could be, because we’re talking about strategic goals, so if that’s yours then it applies! But I’m talking about measuring progress with any goal. While it’s definitely important to think strategically, sell strategically and hire strategically, it’s also important to set strategic benchmarks and measure your progress along the way to your goals. While meeting the goal is the most obvious and ultimate measurement, I’ve found that if that’s the only gauge you set, you can miss out on valuable lessons that setting multiple measurements can help you learn for current and future goals.
Here are a few different types of aspects you can measure:
*Shared vision. To what degree did you have a shared vision of expectations and results with all of the people who had roles and responsibilities in the tasks needed to reach the goal? Were you successful in conveying and having the team buy into the vision to begin with or did you need to have several discussions along the way to get people on board? Did those involved need to ask a lot of clarifying questions along the way or at the beginning and then run with it? The degree to which all the players have a shared vision of the outcome can affect a great deal of other benchmarks, so this is a key one to be clear about from the beginning for the most productive use of everyone’s time.
*Process. Were key processes involved in reaching your goal defined and clear to all involved from the beginning? What refinements, if any, did you make along the way? Did some take less time than you expected? More time than you expected? Measuring the efficiency of processes can help you reach current and future goals faster if you understand them well.
*Duration. Under- or over-estimating the time it will take to complete a process or phase of meeting your goal can often make or break your reaching it. Measure the duration of each process or phase and note the ones that take more or less time than you originally thought they would and what key players did or didn’t do to influence that. This will help you both make any needed changes to make your target date more realistic and help you plan better for future goals.
*Team member growth. Don’t forget to measure the growth and impact of the people involved in reaching your goals. Did any of them enhance their skills along the way? What did they learn that can help them be better employees or better people in the future? What did you learn? How did their contributions contribute to each phase of meeting your goal? Often recognizing and measuring people’s contributions to meeting the goal will automatically enhance their participation in the next one.
*Results. Make sure to measure results of each task or phase in order to look for improvements in processes, team member participation, expectations, and more. This will help you have realistic expectations as you set future goals.
Whether your goal is a project at work, managing your time better, or even losing weight, strategically measuring key aspects along the way will help you maximize your time and resources. What measurements have you found helped you gauge your goals? Share a comment so we can learn from you.
Strategic Sales
Hi Everyone! Today’s topic is for everyone! No matter what your job, you are involved in sales. Whether you’re trying to get a co-worker on board with an idea, dealing with a child who won’t cooperate or you are selling to clients, knowing how to strategize in your plans will help you be successful in your efforts.
I am in Atlanta to meet with one of my clients today. I spend a great amount of time working with buyers that are trying manage shrinking budgets while still having the right amount of inventory in stock. It can be a real challenge.
Being successful at strategic sales is critical to victory in all aspects of life. It’s very important when you are in a position to influence a result that you have the other party’s best interest at heart. If you are in it solely for a personal agenda, you probably can get what you want… this time. But you may damage a relationship in the future and create an environment where trust has been lost. Here are some steps to increase your success rate while fostering a stronger relationship:
1. Know your client. What are they trying to accomplish? Remember, your “client” may be your spouse, child, friend, co-worker, sibling, or customer. Regardless of who you are working with, you need to understand their point of view. What do they want? What are they worried about? What do they need to feel healthy, strong, successful, and happy? Likewise, what do you want to see happen to help them be successful (this is your ultimate goal – your “close”, so to speak).
2. What has happened in the past? Specifically, when you are working on a potential sale, you need to know what your client’s history is and what experiences they have had – both good and bad. Did they overbuy before and end up with too much stock? Have they lost market share? I have several clients that have been hit by the economy and are very hesitant to increase their buys this year. I would rather they play it a little safe with their orders in a weak economy and sell through rather than order excess amounts only to return stock that we won’t be able to resell. I always analyze their sales reports and buying data before making recommendations on upcoming products. Sometimes I recommend more, sometimes I recommend less. Regardless, they are getting a fair and honest suggestion. This has done more than you can imagine for building trust! When I propose something now, every one of my clients will take my advice because they know I understand their business.
3. What opportunities can you offer that have never been tried before? It’s your job to be a problem solver. Think outside the box and see what ideas you can come up with to help your client get what they want. Can you help them sell more of your products? How can you help them reach their goals?
4. Get a commitment. Whether you’re trying to get your child to clean their room or get an order from a customer… it’s likely you are stop short of closing the sale. It’s very likely you’re talking and talking and talking (and probably getting frustrated) but don’t close the deal. Before you end the conversation, get a strong commitment. What do you want that person to do? Have they agreed to your wishes? If not, you’re not done. Until you get a firm agreement, you haven’t finished your job. Stay engaged in the moment and re-state what every person’s next steps will be. This is, hands down, the biggest factor in your sales success.
Using these suggestions will put you on the road to amazing success! Hang in their and keep up the good work.
Until Saturday Friends,
Tara
Strategic Hiring
One of the most important decisions you can make towards meeting strategic goals is hiring the right people. When the right people are in place you can 1) see that time and resources are used as efficiently as possible and 2) move forward steadily towards your goals.
When the right people are not in place, you can 1) spend valuable time and resources picking up slack, 2) find your time being used up managing performance more often than seeing results, and 3) see morale and productivity suffer, as well as delays in realizing your goals.
Strategic hiring begins by determining the positions that need to be filled and hiring candidates that match the desired competencies for those positions. One of the smartest things you can do as a leader is to build positions and find people for them rather than find people and build positions for them. That way, you know that the positions needed to meet your strategic goals are filled by the most competent people. This is often the first step towards meeting strategic goals. Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, calls this “getting the right people on the bus.”
Do you have the right people on your bus? What lessons have you learned from strategic hiring? Let us know by leaving a comment.
Women CAN be Great Strategists!
As women, we must be able to multi-task, manage many hats, supervise many activities and be successful businesswomen. One of the most important skills a woman can learn in the workplace is the ability to create strong strategies for business success. The next step is to be able to logically implement those strategies. Women handle so many situations well. However, I have found that women often struggle making strategic decisions.
Today I would like to share some fantastic steps to strategic planning, shared by James Cramer:
- Answer the question, where do you want to go? Look at possible scenarios and select your direction based on both linear and non-linear study.
- Develop a vivid vision of your goal clearly imagined. Draw a picture in your mind.
- Answer the question, what’s in it for my clients? What are the overt benefits? These should be stated dramatically—not timidly.
- Answer the question, How should we get there? What is the best approach? Walk around the issues and utilize free-association to develop your plan.
- Develop a positive energy and a strong confidence that you can attain your goal. Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm and commitment.
- Execute your strategy through a communication and action plan that is fully energized with follow-through.
- Answer the question, How should we monitor and measure performance? When should we begin the new strategic thinking cycle
I love these steps because they give you a guideline to see the progress you’re making. It also gives you a starting point. My experience with clients has shown that the biggest challenge most people face is getting started. When you have a list of steps to follow, success is much more likely. As you become more aware of your decision making process, you will find that getting through the steps becomes easier and more automatic. You can become a strategic thinker!
The only limits are your ability to determine where you want to go, how to get there and have the confidence to move forward with your plan. I have confidence in you! I know you can do it!
Until Thursday Friends,
Tara
Think Strategically
Have you ever worked for a boss or a company that doesn’t seem to have a central plan or strategy? When you do, it can feel confusing, like you’re not sure what it is you’re working towards. Or sometimes you’ll find new initiatives pop up here and there that don’t always make sense or seem to go anywhere. Without vision and strategy at work, it can feel a little maddening, like Alice trying to make sense of Wonderland.
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” -The Cheshire Cat
Long-term success in business depends on thinking strategically and planning accordingly. In order to use your resources and time the best way possible, you need to
*know where you’re headed,
*communicate the goals to your team, and
*guide your team’s efforts and resources towards those goals.
Always start by defining the desired end result. We all want to be profitable, but in addition to that, what do you want to accomplish? If your product or service isn’t first to market, how will you make it better than those already out there? Why would people want your product or service? What are your most important priorities and top goals? Start by defining these things in order to think strategically and get the strongest results possible.
What success tips do you have for thinking strategically? Share them below in a comment so we can learn from your experience.
Guide Your Creativity
One of the best things about creativity is that it has no boundaries or rules—anything goes, right? Actually… that’s not always the best way to go. In a lot of ways, creativity is like water: it flows better when it’s directed. Without some guidance, your creativity can end up all over the place, going in too many directions to yield the results you want.
Whether you create things for a living, creatively problem solve or just want some creative approaches to everyday life, one trick I’ve learned can help get the most from your creativite efforts: Know when to say when. It seems counterintuitive to say, because creativity is all about following those possibilities down unknown roads. But not setting some limits can often lead to us staying perpetually following possibilities and not really getting anything finished.
Knowing when to say when can help guide you towards an end result the way pipes guide water to your bathtub. Todd Henry of the Accidental Creative calls this “closing doors.” Having the strength to say “no” to possibilities in order to complete a project, even when another—and maybe even better—option surfaces half-way through, will continue to keep you on track and towards results. This will help anything you’re creating be able to hit its deadline, whether you’re designing a project for a client, helping your son with a Science Fair projects, or deciding how to remodel your living room.
So embrace your creativity and explore possibilities. But know when to say when in order to get results. And you never know—putting limits on “what could be” is sometimes just what you need to lead to another “aha moment” for future projects!
Infusing Creativity into a Business Meeting
A very wise friend once said, “It takes a really good meeting to beat no meeting at all.” I have to agree!
As professional women, we spend a lot of our lives in meetings. There is nothing like than a brainstorming session when no one has ideas. You know what I’m talking about. Someone stands at the whiteboard with a marker in hand waiting anxiously for someone to throw out an idea. No on in the room speaks for fear of sharing an idea that others will not approve of.
Yes, I’ve been there and done that! Getting through the analytical thinking patterns to more inventive and resourceful ideas can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be. Use the following ideas next time you have a brainstorming meeting and see the ideas flow.
1. Throw out as many ideas as you can think of as fast as you can. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write the entire time. Don’t worry about weeding the bad ideas out at this point. This exercise is to train your brain to think of as many ideas as possible.
2. The first person shares an idea or solution to the problem. The person next to him or her takes the basic idea and tweaks it slightly to make it better. This becomes the new idea. The next person in line takes the new idea and tweaks it again. This continues until everyone has helped improve the idea. After everyone has had a chance, there will be several options to discuss and refine until the final result is a home run.
3. Think from the perspective of the end user. If you are trying to create a new product or campaign, what would you like to see if you were the customer? What would appeal to you? What would you like to know about the product or service? This will help guide you in preparing a strong, creative product or solution.
4. Start with wacky. Before you even begin serious brainstorming, stretch your minds and ideas by throwing out the craziest, far-fetched solutions. Not only will this ease some stress of coming up with great ideas right away, but it often opens the door for a possibility that never would have surfaced from normal brainstorming.
We often get so bogged down in problem solving that we miss some of the best solutions. Next time you need to brainstorm, whether at home or at work, allow your mind to relax and see the situation from a different point of view. You may even surprise yourself at what creative suggestions you come up with!
Until Saturday friends!
Tara
Creativity Quotes to Live By
In your quest to dare to be creative, let these words inspire you.
Enjoy! -Jennafer
Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties. ~Erich Fromm
The key question isn’t “What fosters creativity?” But it is why in God’s name isn’t everyone creative? Where was the human potential lost? How was it crippled? I think therefore a good question might be not why do people create? But why do people not create or innovate? We have got to abandon that sense of amazement in the face of creativity, as if it were a miracle if anybody created anything. – Abraham Maslow
The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself. ~Alan Alda
Creativity is a type of learning process where the teacher and pupil are located in the same individual. ~Arthur Koestler
The world is but a canvas to the imagination. ~Henry David Thoreau
The things we fear most in organizations — fluctuations, disturbances, imbalances — are the primary sources of creativity. ~Margaret J. Wheatley
Innovation is the creation of the new or the re-arranging of the old in a new way. ~Michael Vance
All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. ~Pablo Picasso
Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you. ~Rita Mae Brown
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. ~Victor Hugo
Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change. ~Stephen Covey
A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. ~Ayn Rand
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
10 Ways to Jump Start Your Creativity
If you’re like me, you don’t consider yourself a creative person. In fact, I worked in the scrapbooking industry for over 8 years and never created a scrapbook. I grew up in an outrageously creative family full of musicians, artisans, seamstresses, cooks, crafters… and not one of those genes were passed on to me. For years I told people I wasn’t creative. I didn’t fit the traditional mold.
Then I realized that I AM creative. I just express it differently than others. I’m creative in how I solve problems (think there’s one solution? Oh no… I can come up 10 or 20), how I sell products and the ways I express myself.
So what do you do when you’re not feeling creative? Let me share my go-to list of ideas:
1. Listen to music. I love a variety of music depending on what I need. A soothing Kenny G song may help me think clearly at time while a high-energy song by Lady Gaga may help me get revved up! Either way, listening to music helps me to get in the groove.
2. Jump right in. There are many times when I sit down to write and think I have nothing to share. However, after I get going the thoughts start flowing and I feel creative.
3. Get high energy. Spend a few minutes getting your heart pumping and your blood pumping. The adrenaline and extra oxygen will help your thought process.
4. Use your hands. In creative brainstorming sessions, I like to have play-dough, crayons, squish balls and other handheld toys available. Playing with a simple toy helps calm stress and give you a chance to release your inner child.
5. Brainstorm. With a paper and pen/pencil in hand, start writing down every option that comes to you. Try to see the problem from every angle and capture every thought that comes to you. Don’t take time to analyze each option – this phase is able letting your mind think of all the possibilities.
6. Surround yourself in blue. According to a report by WebMD, blue stimulates creativity. “For creativity, blue was the way to go. The students created more original, if not terribly practical, toys from the blue objects. And they were better at coming up with creative but not impossible uses for a brick — such as using it as a scratching post for animals — when they were in blue screen saver mode.”
7. Sleep on it. Before going to bed at night, ponder the situation you are trying to resolve and program your subconscious to offer creative alternatives. Keep a piece of paper and pencil handy – the answer may come when you least expect it.
8. See new scenery. Exposing yourself to a new environment helps stimulate new ideas. Go to an art gallery, take a walk in a park or walk around a home decor shop. Stop by a bookstore and browse books in an area you don’t normally visit. Let your mind take everything in.
9. Expand your vocabulary. Add new words and phrases into your daily conversations. As your language expands, so will your thinking patterns.
10. Widen your horizons. By exposing yourself to new experiences, you have new opportunities for ideas and solutions. Observing people and trying new things will grow your creativity faster than anything else you can do!
As you start opening your mind to opportunities to grow and express creativity, you’ll be amazed at how creative you truly are!
Until Thursday friends,
Tara
Dare to Be Creative
Are you creative? I know a lot of people don’t describe themselves that way because they think “creative” means “crafty” or “artsy”. But it doesn’t. It means “having the ability or power to create.” And that describes all of us in one way or another.
You have the power to create. It could be a craft or piece of art, yes. But it doesn’t have to be. You have the power to create a change in perspectives, a different future, new life, unique ideas, even a better you. It could be in the garden you plant and tend, the building you design, the problem you solve with a friend, or the unique outfit you put together out of items in your closet. All of these are creative. But why don’t we give ourselves credit for them being so?
It takes guts to claim your creativity. There’s a lot of power in it, and sometimes it’s easier to just let things be. But think about the things you could do today alone if you dared to be creative. A small act of creativity right now could start a chain reaction that leads to a better day, a better week, a better future. All it takes is a little courage and a step towards your creativity.
You are creative.
Dare to be creative today in your own unique way. It could lead to anything from a great feeling to a great change to a great legacy. You can do it!
Quick Solutions to Calm Yourself – Finger Holds
Today I’m excited to share with you finger holds – an easy, effective way to help calm nerves or reverse negative feelings. You’re going to love this!
There are five basic negative attitudes:
1. Worry
2. Fear
3. Anger
4. Grief
5. Pretense (trying to)
These are the result of disharmony and run down energy. When the energy moves through our bodies without any obstruction we are in harmony (with the universe). Obstructions lead to physical, mental and emotional disharmony. Obstructions are created by ‘attitudes’.
Because there are energetic pathways that run through the fingers (referred to as meridians), each of these ‘attitudes’ can be balanced by simply holding the corresponding finger, thereby harmonizing the entire circulation of energy in our bodies.
For a full revitalizing session hold each thumb and finger individually for a few minutes each. Whenever you’re watching television, or a movie or waiting for your kids or have a few minutes before your next appointment, hold your fingers! You can’t ‘overdose’ when you work on yourself.
Hold CENTER of PALM for FATIGUE.
Place your fingers on the center of the palm (either side) when you feel fatigue, or when you feel like sleeping a lot and hold for a few minutes. Also for depression.
********************
Hold LITTLE finger (either side) to harmonize the attitude of PRETENSE (trying to), and to help:
* heart conditions
* bloating
* trying too hard (at anything)
* insecurity, nervousness
* heart and small intestine energy
********************
Hold RING finger (either side) to harmonize the attitude of GRIEF and sorrow, and to help:
* ringing in the ear (tinnitus)
* respiratory functions
* excessive mucus
* skin conditions
* lung and large intestine energy
********************
Hold MIDDLE finger (either side) to harmonize the attitude of ANGER, and to help:
* regulate blood pressure (high or low)
* general fatigue
* eyes, vision
* irritability
* balance emotions
* liver and gallbladder energy
********************
Hold INDEX finger (either side) to harmonize FEAR and ANXIETY, and to help:
* Teeth and gumshealt
* Backaches
* Digestion, constipation
* Self criticism, shyness
* Muscle tension
* Kidney and bladder energy
********************
Hold your THUMB (either side) to harmonize the attitude of WORRY, and to help:
* Insomnia
* Digestion
* Headaches (especially the base of thumb)
* Stress and nerves
* Ground and calm
* Nurture
* Skin surface
* Stomach and spleen energy
Each Saturday I will share a new and interesting method to help restore your health and wellness. This method is very effective and simple! Let me know how it works for you.
Join Jennafer on Monday for ideas to boost your creativity! I’ll be excited to share some ideas with you on Tuesday.
Until next week, friends!
Tara
Suffering Is Optional
In 1994, I was literally shaken awake at 4:30 AM by a 6.7 magnitude earthquake just outside of where I was living in Los Angeles. The years of earthquake drills I’d experienced growing up there trained me well: before I was fully aware of what was going on, I was bracing myself in a doorway, a cacophony of car alarms and shattering glass ringing in my ears. Although the initial quake lasted 10-20 seconds, there were immediate and nearly continuous aftershocks that made it seem much longer than the few moments it actually occurred.
During a break in the aftershocks, my parents and I ventured outside in the dark, navigating through a maze of broken knick knacks and dishes to do so. Fresh air was a palpable relief, as was finding neighbors and friends safe over the next few hours as we gathered together outside, comforting and taking care of one another.
We got bits and pieces of the destruction story through the radio: Our city had been declared a national disaster… the National Guard was called in for relief efforts… a freeway overpass had collapsed… tent cities were going up all over because people were afraid to go back in their homes. It was collectively painful, almost surreal, and definitely unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
As night fell, with the power still off and food threatening to rotten, the residents of Baza Avenue decided the best course of action was to pool our resources for a potluck dinner. One neighbor broke out the propane stove while others brought whatever food they could. There were even a couple of tiki torches. It wasn’t exactly the first Thanksgiving, but it worked for us. And in the midst of that destruction and pain, neighbors who’d only ever exchanged friendly greetings and holiday gifts exchanged food and comfort—and experienced protection in each other like I had in that doorway. And I understood the truth of this saying:
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
When pain comes into your life, find your doorways and let their protection shield you from suffering. Whether they’re people or places that make you feel protected or safe, choose to let them in to help you through.
Choose Your Reaction
You thought I might bring this up, didn’t you. Well, I had to. Let’s face it… this is one of the hardest lessons we have to learn as humans. We have to learn to be in control of how we react to situations.
One day I was listening to a program by Carolyn Myss, one of my favorite authors. She shared something that has changed my life. She said something to the effect of, “Situations are not stressful or sad or difficult. They become that when you choose to attach that emotion to the event. You could just as easily attach a different emotion and change how you feel about the entire scenario.”
Wow! I have the option of not being hurt, angry, upset, depressed, rejected, embarrassed, guilty, ashamed?! It’s truly up to ME to decide how I’m going to react? That’s HUGE!
Let me make sure I have this right. From this moment on, I don’t have to buy-in to negative emotions? That means I can choose to feel neutral or even positive about experiences that may have left me feeling horrible before. Whoa.
That moment was life changing for me. Suddenly I no longer worried about how others would make me feel because they didn’t have the power to make me feel anything. I make the decision as to what I will feel and how I will react. Since then, I have been much more aware of how I interpret what people say and what happens to me. Most situations are not near as dramatic as I was letting them become.
How can this concept help you? What options do you have in how you react to your family, co-workers, friends, clients, neighbors and associates? This week, be acutely aware of what emotions you are tying to situations. Then make a difference choice. Associate a different, more positive emotion to the same scenario and see how your physical, emotional and spiritual reactions change. You’re going to be shocked. It will change your life!
Good luck, friends!
Until Saturday,
Tara
Effective Leaders Perceive Options
When you think of the word “leaders” what characteristics come to mind? I’ve heard some people use:
*visionary
*affecting change
*charismatic speaker
and other terms like it to describe leaders. I think those are all great descriptors, but I’ve also found that a key characteristic that leaders share is the ability to see options, even when others can’t. Especially when others can’t. People want leaders to inspire them to see or make a difference, and if leaders can’t see options, then they only see what everyone else does. That’s not so inspiring.
I’m not sure who said this quote but I like it:
“Effective people perceive they have options.”
Effective leaders perceive they have options. They choose to see beyond the status quo, beyond the parameters of what’s in front of them, beyond what everyone else sees to a better way of doing things. They get stuck and have bad days like everyone else, but they don’t stay there. And they don’t see options because they were born with an ability others weren’t. They simply reject that things need be a certain way and choose to see options. It’s all in the way you look at things.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. The way you perceive things is an extremely powerful tool that will allow you to fully bring the power of intention into your life.” –Dr. Wayne Dyer
None times out of ten, fear is what we allow to limit our options.
As Seth Godin said, “Our most vivid fears are almost certainly not the most important ones. We pay attention to the loud and the urgent. This can lead us to ignore the important and achievable paths open to us—because we’re so busy defending against the overwhelmingly dangerous (but unlikely) outcomes instead.”
Be an effective leader. Choose to see options. If you’re not sure where to start, these tips may help. Choose to see beyond what’s got you stuck or your fears or the limitations placed on you by others. See things differently. You can do it.
Keep Your Options Open
“Tara, keep your options open.”
I cannot count how many times my dad told me this while I was growing up. I didn’t fully appreciate his advice as a child and teenager. To tell you the truth, I don’t think I “got it”. But as an adult, this advice is invaluable to me. This is counsel I have given many people regarding their careers. Dad’s wisdom continues to live on.
Let’s take, for instance, someone who leaves their job for a better opportunity. There is not a person who leaves a company who doesn’t have SOMETHING they would love to gripe about or share at their exit interview (sometimes the list is quite long). However, I have seen many people resign only to find that their new position is not what they had hoped for. In fact, it’s not what they want at all. Suddenly, their old company, former boss, past position looks much better than it did prior to leaving. The new perspective leaves them wanting to return to their former company. Here’s where the lesson comes in.
If a person leaves a company respectfully and allows their boss to maintain dignity, there’s a high possibility they could come back. But I have seen people out for blood when they leave. They tell their boss how awful they are, how horrible it was to work at the company and how glad they are to be leaving. Uh oh. If they ever want to come back or get a reference from their manager, they are out of luck – there’s no way they will ever get another opportunity with their former company. That option was not left open.
(Mug Available at Razzle.com)
What about promotions? If you try for a promotion and are passed over, how do you react? Your reaction will be a major factor in whether or not you will be considered for opportunities in the future. If you are respectful, ask for feedback and implement changes based on the suggestions given, you will have a much higher chance of getting the next promotion. On the other hand, if you become resentful, angry and indignant, you will never be seriously considered for a promotion. You will have closed the door to any future options.
Each day you encounter options. You must choose how focused you will be, how you will treat your clients, and what level of professionalism you will exhibit. You always have options. The choices you make show what kind of character you have. If you find you have made a poor choice, stop and see what better options you have and pursue those.
And by all means, don’t throw away options because you don’t think you’ll need them in the future. You may be very surprised!
Stop by tomorrow for more from Jennafer.
Until Thursday, Friends!
Tara
Choose to See Options
Not long ago, I had “one of those days” at work. Deadlines were backing up on me, and all I could see was my seemingly-never-ending to-do list. I felt seriously discouraged and seriously at the end of my rope. I’m thinking you know the feeling: like you’re out of time, out of patience, out of energy—or all three. How do you get through those moments?
It’s easy to feel stressed and helpless in moments like that. Those are some of the most taxing moments we can face, but they’re also the moments with the most opportunities. Because even though it doesn’t feel like it, you do have options. You just need to choose to see them. This is a capability that everyone has but not everyone learns to develop. But it can be incredibly liberating and empowering. Here are some tips to get you started.
Take a step back to gain perspective. It’s impossible to see your options when you still feel like you’ve run out of them. Perspective only comes when we take the time to step back. Take a few deep breaths. Literally step away from your desk. Try taking a short walk outside or even around the office to clear your head. If needed, try some grounding exercises to help draw a little energy away from your buzzing brain and back into your body. This will help you start to get out of stuck mode and open up to any other possibilities.
Focus on what you can control. As out-of-control as you may feel in the midst of a meltdown, there are things you have control over no matter what: your actions and reactions. Understand that, no matter what’s going on, you can decide how you act. Focusing on that can be the first connection your brain makes towards other options, so it’s an important step.
Let go of your expectations. Part of the stress that these at-the-end-of-your-rope moments bring is due to the expectations of a particular result or outcome that doesn’t look likely to happen. That alone can block your ability to see other options, so if you can let go of that desired outcome—even temporarily—then you’ll be able to open your mind to other opportunities. This is really difficult sometimes, because often that expectation comes from other people and you don’t want to let them down. But if you can give yourself permission to let go of that for just a few moments, it can take much of the pressure off and allow you to move forward instead of feeling stuck.
Ask yourself questions. To prompt yourself to available options, ask yourselves questions such as:
- How can I look at the situation differently? Try putting yourself in the position of someone you trust and look at the situation from a different point of view
- What can I let go of? Often, there may be a few stresses you’re putting on yourself that, if removed, could open things up. For example, I tend to put extremely high expectations on myself while a dear friend consistently feels trapped by her inability to say “no” when people ask her favors. When we let go of those tendencies, it takes some of the pressure off. What expectations or limitations could you let go of to open up options?
- What can I influence to change the situation or outcome? There are many times when influencing situations can help them change. Are there areas of the situation you find yourself in that you could influence?
So there you have it: some tips to help you choose to see options. Try them. Even when you’re at the end of your rope. Especially when you’re at the end of your rope. It’s not as hard as it seems and it will open up possibilities for lessons you may never have learned otherwise.
Using the Laws of Success to Empower Yourself
Yesterday I shared Brian Tracy’s first three of seven laws for personal power. Today we’ll discuss the final four laws and how you can best implement them into your work.
4. The Law of Belief. Whatever you believe, with emotion, becomes your reality. The key to this law is emotion. We are inundated with messages and thoughts all day long. You may agree or disagree passively without even giving the messages much thought. However, when you FEEL something, you act on it. You live by it. When you tie emotion to a belief, it becomes a part of you. In fact, others know what you believe often without you telling them because your deep beliefs are demonstrated consistently in how you live your life.
How does this apply to work? Do you believe you are an amazing person? Do you believe, with emotion, that you are the best in your field and your clients are lucky to work with you? I don’t mean being on an ego trip… I mean being confident.
Assuming your work environment and line of work supports you as a person with integrity, how can you strengthen your belief in yourself to be more successful? It’s time to believe YOU are destined to be amazing. If you work in sales, having a confident, positive attitude is critical for high achievement. When you carry yourself with confidence, enthusiasm and with an air of success, your clients will trust you and listen to your recommendations at a much high rate than if you appear apprehensive or unsure of yourself. You must be believe in yourself before your will be successful in a career.
Let’s review one of Brian’s exercises: Determine a goal that you would like to achieve and then go through this process: First, as yourself a question like, “Would I like to be one of the top 10 percent of salespeople in my field?” Your answer to this question should be “Yes!” Then ask yourself, “Why aren’t I already?” Why aren’t you already in the top 10 percent? What is holding you back? What fears, doubts and limitations are blocing your progress? Why aren’t you achieveing your goal at this very moment?
“There are a thousand excuses for every failure, but never a good reason.” –Mark Twain
It’s time to refuse to accept anything less than the best from yourself. No more excuses, no more letting yourself off easy, no more being weak. It’s time to believe in yourself and prove that you’re right!
5. The Law of Concentration. Whatever you dwell upon grows and expands in your life. If you think about increasing your effectiveness as a salesperson, you will actually find yourself doing the things that make this a reality. Unfortunately, most people go through their day without any focus. Their thoughts are scattered, they’re stressed, worried, frantic, bored, frazzled but not focused. That’s not a characteristic of a successful person.
You are what you think about. If you want to become amazing in your field, you need to focus your thoughts on how to improve your day-to-day activities and how to get closer to your goals. If you find yourself worrying about not succeeding or dreading certain activities, sure enough you will find ways to avoid the very activities you need to do to excel. Do not give yourself the option of living unconsciously. From now on, you hold yourself accountable for having positive, focused thoughts.
6. The Law of Attraction. You are a living magnet and you inevitably attract into your life people and circumstances in harmony with your dominant thoughts. If you haven’t seen The Secret yet, it’s time! We energetically attract positive or negative people, events and experiences into our lives based on what we send out. That is why your thoughts are so important. Your thoughts become your reality – they are creating your future long before the experiences arrive.
“The more clear and consistent your thoughts and actions are in the direction of your dreams and goals, the quicker you will achieve what you want. When you are positive and optimistic about yourself, and your products or service, you broadcast a form of positive mental energy that attracts back to you an endless chain of leads, prospects, referrals, and sales opportunities. The better you become at serving your customers, the better customers will be attracted to you for you to serve.” –Brian Tracy
7. The Law of Correspondence. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. People respond to you based on what you are sending out to them. The way others treat you is a reflection of the way you think about yourself and the way you you think about them. If you are dissatisfied with your relationships or the people you are attracting into your life, stop and think about who you really are on the inside. As you become more confident and a better person, you will find yourself surrounded by better people.
In order for your life to improve, your role in your life must change. You must be more aware, proactive and accountable. As your personal attitudes improve, everything and everyone around you will also improve. It may feel somewhat overwhelming. It’s also exciting because you are now in control of your future. In Brian’s words, “By taking deliberate, purposeful systematic control over every aspect of your thinking, you will take complete control over the entire future of your career. You will make more progress in a few months than you may have made in several years.”
Whoa! What an exciting week of great information! I hope you will take the great insights and make positive life-changing improvements. You can make amazing things happen.
Join us on Monday when Jennafer unveils our new topic for next week!
Have a great weekend, friends!
Tara
Powerful Strategies for Success
Success = Attitude + Endurance
You didn’t know we were having a math lesson today, did you. 
Yes, today we are talking about the success equation.
80% of your success at work depends on your attitude. Brian Tracy, renowned speaker and trainer, believes attitude is the major determining factor in your professional success. He stated, “Your attitude is the outward expression of everything that you are, and everything that you have become over the course of your lifetime.” What a true statement! When you are in control of your attitude, you become the master of your career.
Let’s break this down – today we’ll discuss the first three of the seven laws of success Brian shares in his book, Advanced Selling Strategies. Whether you are in the sales department of your organization or not, having these skills will benefit you with co-workers, clients, managers and in your personal life.
Brian Tracy
1. The Law of Cause and Effect. This law states that you get back what you put in. This is a hard law for many people (thus making the lottery so successful). We spend a lot of time hoping for results or waiting for someone else to make something happen in our lives. What we each if changed our paradym?
From now on, you determine what you want and make a plan to get it. Your life is no longer lived by chance. Brian suggests finding a mentor. “The Law of Cause and Effect in your professional career says that if you want to be one of the most successful and highly paid person in your field, you must find out what other highly paid and successful people are doing and do the same thing. If you do the same thing they do, over and over, you will eventually get the same results.”
The key is being accountable to yourself. Expect yourself to be the best! If you want to excel beyond what other people are doing at your company, you have to give more than others are giving. Get to work earlier, work harder, be more focused, shorten your lunch break, minimize socializing time, eliminate distractions and do the most important tasks first. Your focused attitude and behaviors will launch you into success.
A few years ago, a friend of mine suggested creating a to-do list for the following day before leaving work. This is brilliant! I have done since our conversation and it is powerful! When you are wrapping up your day, you know where projects are being left off and what you need to do to complete them. When you come in the following day, you can get up and running immediately because you can get right back into getting the most important things done. If you wait until you come in the next morning to create your to-do list, your mind is scattered and it can take a couple of hours to get up to speed.
2. The Law of Compensation. This law states that you are always compensated for your efforts and for your contribution, whatever it is, however much or however little. This law is very misunderstood by many “employees”. When a person thinks as an “employee”, she feels that the company owes her something and she wants the company give her more. When a person thinks as a successful person, she realizes that if she wants more from her company (higher payer, greater commission, flexible time, etc.), she realizes she must first give the company more.
I have coached many salespeople who didn’t want to follow this law. They felt they should get more for doing less. It doesn’t work that way. If you want to make more money, have more prestige or more power at work, you need to work harder, bring in bigger sales than anyone else, get more clients than your colleagues, take better care of your customers than your co-workers and focus on the activities that make the biggest difference. It’s not just about time. I’ve seen many professionals waste a tremendous amount of time on activities that ultimately made no difference. They didn’t bring in more clients, they didn’t generate more income for the company, they didn’t reach their goals. They may have been “busy”, but they weren’t effective.
If you want more, you need to GIVE more… more of the things that bring the best results.
3. The Law of Control. “You feel good about yourself to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your own life.” I am shocked at how easily people give away their personal power. They hope someone else will take care of them and be responsible for their happiness. This is no longer acceptable! Now you’re aware of the Law of Control. That means, if you want something, you have the power to get it. You don’t wait for someone else to make you happy or give you anything in your life. You give yourself permission to be in control of you and everything you have, want or are becoming.
This is a key to personal mastery. You deserve to keep your power! When you give your power away, you tell yourself you are not confident that you can take care of yourself and get what you want. Instead, you’re hoping someone else will make you happy and give you want you want/need. Unfortunately, you also give away your self-esteem and confidence. Confidence comes from accomplishing things you’ve never before, being accountable to yourself and achieving goals you’ve created for yourself. All three of these things require you to exert personal power. They require you to be in control of YOU.
So be honest with yourself… are you in control of your life? Are you responsible for your attitude, for the things you have and what you want? Or are you waiting for someone else to make something happen in your life?
As you go throughout your day, pay attention to how you are living these laws. How are your actions (or inaction) helping or hurting you?
Tomorrow we will discuss the remaining four laws as outlined by Brian Tracy. Mastery of these laws will eventually lead you to mastery of your destiny! That’s what we’re working for here.
Have a tremendous day.
Until tomorrow,
Tara
Choose to “In-Power” Yourself
I’ve been thinking…
Why is it that we give ourselves so little authority? And why do we give everyone else so much power in our lives?
There have been times in my life that I didn’t trust “me”. I didn’t trust my decisions, my intuition or my dreams. Instead, I repeatedly sought the advice of so-called experts who had a lot of training but little insight into my head and heart. I thought seeking answers outside myself would give me peace within. After a lot of banging my head against the wall, sleepless nights and desperation, I can assure it doesn’t work that way.
It’s an amazing “a-ha” to finally realize that each of us have the answers inside. It can be a little scary, quite honestly, to accept the responsibility for our past, present and future. You see, when we realize we are powerful, we step into a position to be responsible. We no longer can wait for someone else or something else to bring us joy. It’s up to us.
Let’s take that a step further… there’s no one else to blame, either. I am where I am and I have what I have because of decisions I made. Many of my decisions have brought joy and happiness. But some have not…
That’s when it’s tough to acknowledge my role in my own life. Let’s be honest – wouldn’t we all rather blame some of our mistakes and failures on other people. It would make it much less painful. But it would also make it much less “real”, and I’m all about being REAL.
So today, please join me in a personal challenge… a challenge that will bring an energetic shift and an increase in authority in your life immediately.
Today – make every decision from a place of power… your power.
If you want something, go after it. Don’t let other people make decisions for you that are yours to make. As you learn to make daily decisions from your own place of power, you will gain the confidence and ability to make bigger decisions. That’s when you truly come into your own power! Meet you there!
Until tomorrow friends,
Tara
Words to Empower Yourself With
While we’re on the subject of empowerment and embracing your uniqueness, here are some quotes to inspire you to do both.
The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. – Anna Quindlen
Be who you are and say what you think. Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. – Dr. Seuss
Originality does not consist in saying what no one has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself. – James Stephen
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die – whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness. – Gilda Radner
You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are. - J. Jacques
The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame. -Rod Steiger
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. - e.e. cummings
Find your true path. It is so easy to become someone we don not want to be, without even realizing it is happening. –Bernie Siegel, MD
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Do you have empowering quotes or sayings you’d like to share? Leave a comment below to keep the inspiration going.
Empower Yourself: Embrace Your Uniqueness in Life
In a previous post, I talked about how a conversation I had with my boss turned into a pivotal moment in my life. It did change the way I approached my job, but it also ended up changing the way I approached my life as well.
Not long after that fateful conversation, where I embraced my uniqueness at work and told my boss that if she wanted someone to just say yes to her all the time, then anyone could do my job, yet anotherlight went on in my head as I realized:
If I have a just-say-yes-to-others approach to life and do only what other people want me to do, anyone could live my life.
It’s my job to not just to bring to my work, but to bring to this world the uniqueness of who I am. It is the only thing I can give to the world that no one else can.
We are—each of us—irreplaceable. Sure, other people may share some of the talents or traits each of us have and other people may be able to do the job we do or fill the roles we do. But no can replace us as people. No one has the exact same unique combination of talents and traits, mixed with experiences, that we do. No one can, or we’d all be replaceable. And we are far too precious to be replaceable. That means that it’s our jobs as people to bring our uniqueness to the table of the world.
Embrace your uniqueness. It’s your gift to the world. If you’re not really sure how to start, here’s a wonderful prayer/intention to put out there:
May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself, just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
-Prayer of St. Theresa
There’s nothing more empowering than understanding how special and unique and precious you are. If we all appreciate one another as the unique, amazing people we are as individuals, there’d be a lot more tolerance and peace on the news instead of war and violence. Can you imagine if the headlines were full of reports of rampant outbreaks of self-esteem? Now there’s something the world could use a lot more of!
Empower Yourself: Embrace Your Uniqueness at Work
One of the most pivotal moments of my life came when my boss at the time was correcting me. I’d made a comment in a meeting that I thought was bringing up a crucial point for consideration. She, however, thought it was disloyal. While trying to make her point, she said, “Please understand I’m not saying I want you to be a ‘yes man’—”
And a light went on in my head.
Now, until this point, I was a pretty model employee. I was not given to insubordination; in fact, I did pretty much everything I was told and worked hard to please every supervisor I’d had. And before I entered the workforce, I tried to please teachers and my parents. I worked hard to be considered a good kid and a good student and a good employee. I tell you this so you can appreciate how out of the ordinary this next part is.
I interrupted her. “Yes you are,” I said, surprising both of us (and, frankly, wondering if lightning was going to strike me dead for being contrary). “That’s exactly what you’re saying. And if that’s all you want, then anyone can do my job. It’s my job to bring my unique opinions and insights to the table, and if you want someone that just agrees then you want someone else.”
I had no idea where those words, let alone the gravitas to say them, had come from. For a split second, I wondered if I could quickly apologize, claim that I’d been possessed and go back to being a good employee. But, more than anything else I was thinking or feeling at the time, I knew, whatever the consequences, that I’d spoken the truth.
In case you’re wondering, I didn’t get fired after my outburst. And I’m not going to advocate from here on out that you all start openly disagreeing with your boss. I will, however, advocate doing what I did: choose to be empowered and become a better worker. Not because you’re the most compliant and do what you’re told, but because you feel empowered by knowing that no one else can do your job exactly the way you do. You are irreplaceable. As I heard Seth Godin say recently, people are not interchangeable like parts in factories. Your position can be replaced, but you can’t because no one else can bring to your job the unique combination of talents and insights you do.
Realize that you’re unique. Embrace it and let it empower you to do the best work you can do.
Staying Emotionally Centered
Whoa! A week of fantastic suggestions to remain centered. How is it going? Have you implemented the suggestions? Please share your experiences, ideas and suggestions with others by posting a comment.
I had a chance to practice what I preach this week. I spent 2 days in New Jersey for business. It was a fast, crazy trip. In fact, I had planned on being gone 4 days… until Mother Nature changed my plans. There is nothing like 18 inches of snow to make drastically alter plans. Suddenly, everything changed and I had to reschedule and alter plans to get home safely. It took several trips to the airport, hours of being on-hold with the airlines and creative thinking to figure out a plan to get home.
So what do you do when you’re at work (whether in the office or on a business trip) and suddenly all of your plans fall apart? The kids gets sick, the weather takes a sudden turn for the worst, the water heater breaks and you now have to figure out how to get a repairman there to repair it… you know the kind of craziness I’m talking about. You have to be a pro at staying emotionally centered.
What does that mean?
Being a multi-tasker? Yes…
Staying calm? Yes…
Wearing many different hats simultaneously? Yes…
But what about you? At the end of the day, are you going to be exhausted and depleted? No! Because you’re going to make plans now to be prepared for these crazy instances (yes, I call it life).
Here are my top 3 tips for pulling it together when life throws you a curve ball:
1. Use an essential oil. I love essential oils – they vibrate at an incredibly high rate, have immediate reactions and are very easy to use. When I feel stress, anxious or worried, I use a blend by doTerra called Balance. 
It is a combination of several oils (Spruce, Blue Tansy, Rosewood and Frankincense). I love to diffuse the oil every morning as I’m getting ready for work. You can also just smell it throughout the day, or particularly when you’re feeling stressed. It’s a very calming blend and helps to keep your emotions steady!
2. Rub your feet. There is an amazing power to foot reflexology! My favorite book about the subject is “Healing Yourself with Foot Reflexology” by Mildred Carter. It’s the bible of reflexology books, in my opinion. Even if you don’t have the book, spend a few minutes rubbing your feet – especially your big toes. That is where the reflexes to your brain and glands are located and will help get extra circulation and oxygen to your head.
3. Consider a supplement. Gaba is an excellent answer to help calm your nerves. It will help keep you grounded when life gets stressful. Stop by tomorrow when I will share a few other herbs and supplements that are extremely helpful during stressful moments.
Staying emotionally centered will help you get through any stressful situation. There is no way to avoid stress all together, but having options available for difficult times will make managing the stress possible.
Until tomorrow,
Tara
Quotes to Help You Remain Centered
At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. – -Lao Tzu
Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you. –Caroline Myss
There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. –Anais Nin
There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them. –Sylvia Plath
Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. –Ovid
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. –Will Rogers
To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring – it was peace. –Milan Kundera
To be “on edge,” you are literally not centered – not being in your spiritual center. –Carrie Latet
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. --Chinese Proverb
Being to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul. –Wayne Dyer
The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind. –Caroline Myss
Remain Centered
We’ve all had one of those days (maybe several… just this week) where we feel overwhelmed, stressed and cranky! How do you handle stressful days? Let’s face it, when you are juggling multiples roles, responsibilities and a “to-do” list that is a mile long, it’s difficult to remain calm and steady.
There was a point in my career when I was so out of balance and trying to do everything with 110% effort. Here’s the kicker… it is not possible. You can try and try and try and try, but ultimately you’ll end up with ulcers, anger and plenty of tears.
So let’s get real about what IS possible and realize you don’t have to be Superwoman. There are three things you can do immediately that will have a significant impact on your ability to remain grounded when life get tough.
1. You have to eat foods with high-powered fuel in them. Unfortunately, when we’re stressed, rushed and starving, we end up reaching for high calorie, low nutrient foods. Plan ahead and make sure you have foods that will sustain you for longer periods of time. My favorite suggestions: raw nuts, raw veggies, grilled meats, eggs, cheese, Kashi bars, green drinks, yogurt, and plenty of water.
2. Take some deep breaths. We are such shallow breathers that we do not get enough oxygen to brains… and your brain needs fresh air! Consciously close your eyes and take 15 deep breaths every hour. It will only take a couple of minutes but will make a tremendous difference in your energy and stress level. While you’re breathing, imagine the stress being released from your head, neck, shoulders, arms, lower back, stomach and legs. You are carrying more tension than you realize! Just a few minutes can make a drastic difference. If you’re like me, you’ll need to set a timer at first until you get in the habit of taking breathing breaks.
3. Spend 20 minutes in the sun everyday. If possible, take a short walk during your lunch break. Research continues to show the importance of Vitamin D in our diets, which is seriously lacking for most women. There is no better source than spending some time in the sun. Not only will the fresh air be great for your lungs, the Vitamin D will help your mood and strengthen your immune system.
These three steps will make an amazing difference in your ability to remain centered, feel grounded and handle all of the hats you need to wear in a day. There are times you will encounter difficult clients or frustrating situations at work. Following the three easy steps will empower you to manage awkward and trying moments without sending you over the edge. Ultimately, you’ll have more to give to your employer, your family and yourself.
Until next next week friends,
Tara
P.S. Don’t forget to sign up to get the messages automatically sent to you each day! Take a moment to enter your email (and don’t worry… your email is safe with us!).
5 Tips to Remain Centered: Bonus
While we’re on the subject of tips to remain centered, I actually have one more: Sing. Numerous studies have been done to show the benefits of sound therapy, and chanting or singing are a form of this, often called toning. Singing out loud for just a few minutes an do a lot to help you feel grounded or centered, especially in the midst of a hectic day.
Sounds easy, right? Not just any song will help you feel grounded, though. To target your root, or first, chakra, it’s optimal to sing a note of C with the sound “uh” (as in “hungry”). I know it may sound a little silly, but if you try it for just one minute, you’ll notice results right away. It feels calming and the vibrations definitely help you get out of your head when it’s too full and into your body. The best thing about this tip is that you can do it anywhere—at your desk, running errands, in the car, etc. Just be careful if you’re going to attempt it in a bathroom stall, as your neighbor may take this as a sign of mental instability.
If you’re not terribly talented when it comes to finding (let alone singing) a note, or if singing alone triggers some stage fright or just makes you feel odd, don’t worry. There are several CDs that you can sing along with to help you. One of my favorites is “Chakra Chants” by Jonathan Goldman.
I use this CD regularly in meditations, and it’s fantastic. It doesn’t take more than a minute of singing along to this for me to feel energy shifting.
There you have it: 5 tips—plus a bonus—for grounding and remaining centered in the midst of your busy day. If you’ve tried toning or any of the other tips, or if you have tips of your own, please leave a comment to share your successes so we can all learn together.
5 Tips to Remain Centered (part 2)
So how do you get entered in the midst of a crazy day without taking off to a weekend retreat? In part one, we talked about taking time to take deep breaths as well as finding quiet time as two tips you an try. Here are three more tips.
Tip #3: Experience nature. Nature has a slower rhythm than life, so being in it naturally helps you center. You don’t have to go to a remote mountain to access nature. Walk barefoot on grass in your backyard or neighborhood park. Feel the sun on your face. Play in the sandbox with your kid. Anything that brings you in contact with the earth more will help you feel its rhythms, slow down and be more centered.
Tip #4: Do grounding exercises. The first, or root, chakra is all about grounding, or connecting us to the earth. This is an important part of getting out of your head and into your heart and body. Certain exercises help you strengthen this sense of connection, and none of them require a personal trainer. Try:
*Stomping, marching, or kicking. This brings the energy to your feet and legs and can’t help but bring you back into your body. Just make sure you have a bit of an open space to do it so you don’t hurt anyone in the process (yourself included).
*Listen to music with strong drum lines. Play drums or turn your dashboard or desk into a drum set. Get a heavy beat going. Drums and a heavy beat can help you get grounded and more centered.
Tip #5: Invoke scents. Aromatherapy speaks to the primal part of your brain and immediately helps you be in your body more. Try inhaling some earthy, grounding scents, such as patchouli, cypress, vetiver or sandalwood. I get my high-quality essential oils through Evergreen Aromatherapy, but check your local retailers as well. You can diffuse them anytime for immediate results.
I hope these ideas are helpful and you find they help you in your efforts to become more centered and therefore more productive. If you have other ideas to share, please leave a comment.
5 Tips to Remain Centered (part 1)
Like many people who work in Corporate America, I’m someone who pretty much gets paid to use my brain every day. I spend my days editing, focusing, problem-solving and the like, and while my job is very suited to me, sometimes one of the hazards that comes from using my mind all day is that I end up in my head and not centered or grounded in my body.
Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like your mind is just so full it gets hard to think or make decisions? For me, it’s the same effect as feeling overwhelmed, but it’s more of a feeling of being overloaded. That’s usually when I realize it’s time to bring some of that energy from my head to the rest of my body, to get grounded or centered.
Now, I’m far from a Zen Master, and I’m still learning how to be centered, but here’s what I’ve figured out so far. When I’m centered:
*I feel calm.
*I’m more likely to be proactive, rather than reactive.
*I have the energy to handle the curve balls Work and Life likes to throw at me without panicking or going into severe fight-or-flight mode.
*I have better access to guidance through my intuition, friends, family, the divine, spirit guides, angels…anything.
All of these results are optimal in order for me to continue to use my mind successfully in my job and in my life. It’s pretty easy to lose track of them. But for me, being centered is not only a great way to help me get out of my head, it’s also central to connection. And since connection—to yourself, to the earth, to others, and to the divine—is really what spirituality is all about, being centered is one of the best ways to access spirituality.
But how do you find that centeredness in the midst of a crazy day? Luckily, you don’t have to go on a weekend retreat or taking a vow of silence. Although it’s not always easy to get centered, let alone achieve and maintain it with any sort of regularity, I have five tips that can work for me.
Tip #1: Deep breaths. Take just a moment to breathe deeply. Use the number five as your guide: Inhale, hold your breath and exhale, each for a count of five. Do this five times in a row, and you’ll notice a difference immediately. The best part about this is you can do it anywhere pretty inconspicuously and as many times as you need throughout the day. Try it in the car, at your desk, in the middle of a meeting or an argument, to start your day or finish it…you get the idea. It’s amazing what a little oxygen can do to ground you.
Tip #2: Quiet time. There’s an amazing amount of power in quiet. Our lives are filled with so much noise, no wonder our brains get full. Make time for quiet. A few ideas:
*Get up a little earlier and enjoy a few moments of quiet before the hustle and bustle of the day begins.
*Take a walk around your office building or go somewhere quiet, whether it’s a library or a park.
*Unplug.
*Breathe deeply. (See Tip #1.)
*Meditate or pray. If you aren’t sure how, join a local meditation Meetup Group in your area to learn and mingle with others who share this interest.
*Write or reflect.
*Take a bath.
*Have a meaningful conversation with yourself or a good friend or coworker.
Anything that helps you focus will help you be more centered, and having quiet time is a great way to do this.
I hope you find these helpful as you try to become more centered. Join me here for tips 3-5. If you have other ideas to share, please share by leaving a comment.
Decide and Deliver.
How do you deliver (take care of others, be a valuable employee, contribute to the community and perform the no less than 100 tasks you have on your to do list today) if you haven’t decided?
“Decided what?” you ask.
Decide that it’s time to learn to back to yourself.
Decide to balance out your energy between what you’re giving and what you’re taking.
Decide that you’re going to fill your own resources instead of draining them dry.
It’s time to decide.
“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” – Keri Russell
Today, decide…
… you will nourish YOU
… you will rejuvenate YOU
… what YOU need from others
… to keep YOU well
… to be happy
… to be aware of YOUR needs
… YOU will be a priority
… others needs will not be an emergency when YOUR needs are discarded
Women have this incredible ability to nurture others. In fact, I am amazed by my female clients – they juggle work, family, friends, service, community, meetings, dishes, pets, laundry, cooking… the list could literally go on and on. Yet, they feel empty, sad, discouraged, self-conscious, exhausted, depleted and even worthless.
There are a few common denominators among these women.
1. They don’t take time to meditate and experience silence. There is always “noise”. It’s very difficult to communicate with heaven and get our energy source renewed if we don’t take time to experience quiet. Sometimes it takes a great deal of effort to find time and space for silence. Other times, it’s hard to get your mind to be still enough to enjoy silence. It’s a practice that gets easier with time. But there is no greater way to get grounded and refocused then to spend time meditating, praying and being in a space where you are not rushed and thinking of the next 10 things you need to multi-task.
2. These women are often resentful for all they are doing for others. They’ve lost all sense of boundaries. Instead of saying of no, they say yes to everyone else and do not honor themselves. The children are shuttled to activity after activity, the work requests are met, the responsibilities to others are achieved… but by the time all of this is done, there is nothing left for them.
Do these scenarios ring true for you? As I often ask my clients, “You’re so busy taking care of everyone else. But who is taking of you?” That’s the same question I pose to you. “Who is taking care of you?”
This is where the resentment comes from… women do such a great job nurturing and loving others but don’t take anything for themselves. When was the last time you took a few hours to read a good book, take a hot bath just for fun or get a pedicure just because you wanted one? You deserve it! And it really is true… when you take a little bit for yourself, you have 10 times as much to give to others. If you are draining your reserves, what will you do when the well runs dry?
So here’s my challenge…
Today (and EVERYDAY), write down 2 things you are going to do for YOU. Make a commitment to yourself that no matter what, those two things will get accomplished. If others in your life must sacrifice to help you accomplish your two things, fabulous! What a tremendous example you will be setting for everyone in your life – men and women alike!
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- take a nap
- take 20 deep, slow breaths
- go for a walk outside
- write in a journal
- eliminate sugar and caffeine
- cook your favorite dinner and savor it
- go to the mall by yourself
- get a massage
- listen to music
- go to lunch with friends you haven’t seen for awhile
- sleep in
- put on your favorite outfit
- avoid negative chatter and gossip at the office
- get a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream
- eat on the “good dishes”
- light your favorite candles
- work on a hobby
- do a puzzle
- ask someone to give you a foot rub
- spend some time with your dog or cat
- take a long, hot bath
- make cookies just for you!
At first, it may be difficult to think of two things after the first couple of days. That’s okay… stick with it. It will get easier as you discover yourself again.
It will not be long before you see some amazing deliverables:
… A better YOU
… A more confident YOU
… A happier YOU
… A warm YOU
… A rejuvenated YOU
… A new, improved YOU
“…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” –Marianne Williamson
I add my sentiment to what Marianne Williamson said. When you decide to take care of yourself and make yourself follow through, you will have so much more to deliver (and others will value you more, as well).
Until next week friends,
Tara
Decide & Deliver – Set Your Priorities
To deliver the most effective and enriching use of your time, first decide what your priorities are.
Has this ever happened to you?
An overwhelmed coworker asks if you time to help her with a small task. Even though you have a full to-do list and feel stressed yourself, you want to help and don’t think the task will take too much time, so you say “sure”. Then you feel even more stressed and maybe even kick yourself for not turning her down.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. It’s happened to me more times than I can count, and most working women I know have dealt with something similar to this, not just once but once a week.
Why does this happen? I think it starts out with the best of intentions, really. As women, we’re natural team players. We’re cooperative, sympathetic problem solvers who love to jump in and help—in life and in business. So when we see a coworker who is overwhelmed or in distress, we naturally jump in to help. Our intentions are good and we’re trying to help. It’s actually one of the things I like best about working with women.
But when our good intentions to help aren’t balanced with time for ourselves or getting our own work done, they can cause not only cause us to get behind on our own work but also cause unhealthy stress. How do we keep our natural desire to help in balance? By prioritizing in just two steps. Here’s how:
1. Decide what your large rocks are.
It may sound overly simplistic, but the first step to prioritizing is deciding which things are most important. A famous analogy by Stephen R. Covey helps me picture this best. He likens our to-do lists or lives to a vase and our tasks to rocks we need to fill the vase with. Sometimes it seems like there’s no way everything can fit, but it’s surprising how much we can do when we determine what our biggest rocks (most important tasks) are and put them in first. Then small rocks (next most important tasks) can fill in the spaces around the largest rocks, and so on down to the smallest rocks, or grains of sand. Trying to fit everything in without assessing the rock sizes first often means we’re unable to fit everything in.
I find that when I don’t assess my rocks (whether they are work tasks or personal tasks) I give everything the same level of priority. And then it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture—the trees become the forest and I get stressed and feel behind all the time. When that happens I don’t feel like I’m doing my best work and I get easily discouraged and frustrated instead of letting things roll off my back.
But when I determine what my biggest rocks are and act accordingly, I can see the big picture better, get stressed less and feel like I’m getting things not only checked off my to-do list but actually accomplished.
What are your biggest rocks? For work, they could be a monthly report or sales goals, managing the people under you towards performing to standard or creative deadlines. For your personal life, they could be time with family or friends, regular meditation time or getting exercise on a regular basis. Pick your top 3-5 large rocks and then look at whether you’re prioritizing them as such. If not, what can you do to change that?
2. Plan and use your time according to your decided priorities.
Once you’ve determined your priorities, stick to them, planning your time with the largest rocks in mind first. Then when unplanned things come up (like that overwhelmed coworker’s request), assess them according to where they fall in your priorities. Consider:
- the time the unexpected task will take to complete
- the deadline
- what’s already on your plate that’s a higher priority/bigger rock
- what size priority the task is
Then decide if you can do it in the timeline needed. If the answer is “no” then think about what additional time you’d need to accomplish the task and ask for it. Then you’re still saying “yes” and being helpful, but not in a way that creates more stress for you.
Sometimes that saying-yes-but-adding-time thing is the hardest part for the people-pleasing part of me. At first, it feels a little like I’m saying “no” and then I feel like I’m not being helpful or a team player, or even that I’m being selfish. But on the occasions that I have had to say “Yes, I’m happy to help—but I need another day or two”, no one but my inner critic has accused me of being anything but helpful. People find other ways to work through things or additional resources or time when needed in my absence. And my peace of mind (after I silence that inner critic) and feeling of balance remains intact.
3. Reassess as needed and repeat.
Life and work are always changing, so it’s important to continue to re-evaluate your priorities and how you’re spending your time on a regular basis and then make any necessary adjustments. When I start to feel overly stressed for more than a day or two, or I start to feel that I’m lacking balance, that’s usually a cue to reassess my priorities and adjust my time accordingly. I find that doing this monthly or quarterly helps as well. Even if the big rocks haven’t changed, it’s nice to reconfirm what they are and make sure I’m planning and using my time wisely.
Working and living according to determined priorities helps your time be used efficiently and be more enriching. What kinds of tips do you have for prioritizing? Leave a comment here to share.
Follow Your Dreams – Go For It!
“Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, talented, gorgeous and fabulous?’Actually, who are you not to be?” ~Marianne Williamson
I love this quote, because I think it gets to the heart of why we sometimes don’t pursue our dreams. Whatever you’re dreaming of—whether it’s personal or work-related—it’s possible to make it happen. In fact, there’s really never been a better time to follow your dreams.
I know…in difficult economic times, following your dreams sounds like the opposite of what we should do. We get the idea that we should hunker down and wait for it to pass, just survive, really. But as counterintuitive as it seems, dreams are the best things to pursue in difficult times, economic or other, because they have the power to end difficult times. Dreams can lift us from the difficult times and give us hope.
If you think about it, every fortune 500 company began as someone’s dream. Someone dreaming of better times or a better life or someone tinkering in his garage or her kitchen. Then they tooks steps to make those dreams happen, it caught on, others joined in and then businesses were incorporated and before you know it, you have a huge companies like Proctor & Gamble, Apple or Ford.
Even if you don’t want to build a fortune 500 company, that’s ok. Maybe you want to sell handmade hair bows on Etsy or invent a greener air purifying technology or make people laugh doing stand-up comedy. Whatever your dream, by pursuing it you could make the world a better place.
We need creativity and innovation, now more than ever. And creativity and innovation start with dreams. You have the power inside of you. Don’t let your fear of that power get in the way. Embrace the light inside of you and in your dreams and make them come true. We don’t have to go down the beaten path—we can forge our own path to a new career, a new life, a new future. We can, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, dare to live the life we’ve dreamed for ourselves. We can make our dreams come true. There’s never been a better time.
Follow Your Dreams – Start with a Goal
I have three words for you: Write It Down.
Oh wait, three more words: Make It Specific.
We’ve all heard, “Write goals down.” Countless studies have been done to validate the effectiveness of writing down goals and dreams looking at them daily. In fact, some of the most successful people in the world attribute clear goals to be the key to their accomplishments. I spent years writing goals down.
It started when I was about 5 years old. My dad sat me down to make 1-year, 5-year and 10-year goals. It’s pretty tough for a 5-year to think of what they wanted in ten years. There it began. I have always believed in dreams posters and written goals (career desires, possessions, wants, skills, relationships, spiritual guidance, etc). Some were realized. Some were not. Then something happened.
I finally got it. And this is one of those biggies – a life changing “A-Ha”! I pieced together the times my dreams were granted and the times they weren’t. My little voice (my heavenly helper) said clearly, “I have no idea what you want until you tell me. The more specific you are, the easier it is to deliver your dream. When you write it down, at least I can read what you want.”
Are you kidding me?! That’s what it boils down to? Heavenly helpers can only do what we tell them and they aren’t great mind readers?
Hm…. Wait a minute… All those times I sort of threw something out there and the end result really wasn’t what I had “in mind” was because I didn’t make my intentions clear? You mean to tell me that I can have just about anything I want if I make my goals very clear and create a plan with Heaven? They just need the plan written out in detail… Wow! That’s HUGE!
The best part… it works! Try it… you’ll be amazed. Make a list of very specific things you want. Put a deadline on them. But don’t be too tied to the deadline – time is not necessarily a heavenly priority. I have found that when I have gotten clear, very clear, about what I want, how I want it and when I want it, Heaven runs to my aid. With some practice, you’ll find the same thing.
Let’s enjoy this journey together,
Tara
